Tuesday, November 21, 2017


A couple of weeks ago, my smartphone had to went through factory reset, twice.

Maybe it's the battery that has run out,
Maybe it's the phone endurance that started to run out,
Maybe there's a bug on the phone,
Maybe there's a virus,

I don't know ....
All I know I lost all my data on the phone ... 😠
My download files, pictures, and notes that I haven't copied to my laptop or Micro SD. All gone.

One side, I feel sad, upset, and angry with the data lost. But, in the other side I kinda feel a bit relief because I don't have to choose, from the many data, which one I have to delete eventually.

(Though I still feel upset on losing all BC's downloaded pictures ....)

The factory reset not only made my phone felt a bit lighter, but it also affect me. I was thinking of doing some "reset" on my social media account. I delete all of my albums and notes on facebook, and I delete several posts on Instagram. Though I let twitter and this blog as the way it is. To storage the prove of my young embarrassing times. 😁

(Beside, there were way too many things to be erased on twitter and blog.)

Somehow to be invisible--when no one knows you, don't know what you were doing--feel comfortable. It made me lighter, and I like it.

Monday, October 30, 2017

One More Light (a song fiction).


I watched your back, as you leaned on the balcony, watching you smoke while staring at the dark sky. 

You said you dislike the dark, feeling yourself wrapped by it, to be all alone, couldn't see anything, feeling nothing. Yet, you still stared at the dark sky, with no stars, instead looking at the lights before you. 

"I stare at the sky, hoping for a glance at the stars, for I know, the lights will never be mine." 

There are things that we can have, but can't keep, huh? 

I swiftly smile, stood by your side. Taking the cigarette from your hand, put it on my lips, blew the smoke away. 

You stared in confusion, since you knew I don't smoke. 

For your happiness, I'd do anything. 

"Indirect kiss," said I. You laugh, hearty. 

Hey, little you know, the lights were inside you. When you laugh, when you smile, when you put everyone happiness first, the lights sparkled around you. 
Little you know, that I willing to stay beside you, wrapped together in the darkness, without you even need to ask.   

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

The Child in Time (not a review).

Nope, this isn't a review about Benedict Cumberbatch's movie drama: "The Child in Time".
But, one scene from the drama, the most devastating scene, almost happened to my brother's friend. The scene when Stephen turned his look away for a moment, the second moment, his daughter disappeared ....

Last Sunday, my brother was having a reunion party at his elementary school. At the same moment, a friend--who's house just across the school--was having a family event (this friend doesn't join the reunion since he was in different year with my brother). I could imagine how hectic his house was.

In the afternoon, my brother called home (our house was near the school). His wife answered.

Brother : "Do you see A's daughter? He lost sight of her."

Wife : "No, maybe she's playing inside the school?"

Brother : "No, no one seen her there. Please look at the street, in case someone was with her."

Thursday, September 28, 2017


H : "You are someone with contradiction."

S : "Why is that?"

H : "Well, you said you like the rain, but you don't want to get wet. You said you like the beach, yet you don't want to get under the sun. You love fresh air, but you hardly went hiking. You are a contradiction."

S : "I have my reasons."

H : "And what is that?"

S : *stares*

H : *smiling*

S : "I don't want to get wet because I use public transportation. I don't want to upset other passengers. I don't like the sun, the heat to be exact, since I always get dizzy because of it. And you do know how irritated I would be when I was dizzy. I don't like hiking because it's simply ... tiring."

Tuesday, September 12, 2017


I had gone through two kind detoxification last week.
Precisely a week ago, I had to stayed at home because of typhus.
Regarding the doctor's diagnosis of me having the illness, I was almost burst into laugh. Yet, I could behave quite well and just quietly giggled. 

How did I came out with having typhus? 

On Tuesday morning, I suddenly had high fever at office. I even wonder why and how I suddenly had fever. I quickly took medicine and felt much better afterwards. But, after lunch time, I slowly feel cold even though the weather at the time was hot. It took me a day off on Wednesday after I was feeling so weak because of another high fever during the past night. I get back to work on Thursday though still feeling a bit weak. Friday was a national holiday, the Ied Adha day. Feeling much more better I decided to do some cleaning on my room. When in a sudden I get a high fever again after lunch time. I quickly finished the cleaning, took a medicine, and went to sleep. On Saturday I decided to went to the doctor who'd later told me to through a blood check. When the doctor get the result:

Doctor: "This is typhus, a high one."
Me: 😲
Doctor: "Eat mild food and have lots of rest."
Me: 😲
Doctor: "Come back on Monday for another check up."
Me: 😲

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

One More Light, please?

It's so heavy to listen, 
It's so heavy to write....

I finally brace myself to get a copy of Linkin Park's newest release album, One More Light. 
Actually when LP announced about their new album release, I was so ready to bought one. Until this day, LP is the only non-Japanese band I would still listen. (Placebo was because of the nostalgic reasons 😁). 

It was a surprised when I found out that the album doesn't get release in Indonesia. I don't know why. The online music store then offered me the USA version with much higher price. I intended to get it someday because I have to save money to get it. 

Then the saddest news came ... Chester was gone.

Monday, July 24, 2017

To: Chester.

Source: here.

Dear Chester,

I heard the news while I was having breakfast. I went blank, shocked. My sister was talking, but I couldn’t get her words into my mind.


You seemed happy lately, with new album released and the tour. I remembered watching a video uploaded by your wife. You were smiling beautifully at her. I was smiling too because I could see how you loved her so much. Now I wonder; when you were smiling like that, were you actually hiding your pain inside?


I felt like something missing inside of me. It felt like losing someone who used to be around, and would still be around for some more times. You won’t. You won’t be around anymore.


I feel I have to apologize to you. I’m sorry it turned to be like this. You have voiced so many feelings inside of me that I never could let it out. You screamed things that I couldn’t screamed. You spoke what’s on my mind. You felt what I felt. I’m sorry, I’m sorry you couldn’t be saved with the same way you have saved me.

I truly pray you will be in peace now. No more suffering and pain. You will only feel love and be loved by everyone.

I will always remember you, in my mind, in my heart.

Rest in peace, Chester. Sleep well.             

Friday, July 14, 2017

Tired ....

It's Friday~
Time to get a slight release from work.

Earlier this week, I had the thinking to stop writing. I mean with any kind of writing: blog, social media, and stories. The so called "writers block" has give great impact to me. I don't have the feel to write on my journal, update my social media, also to continue stories I've been writing.

I simply went blank ....
No ideas coming, whether after I watched a movie or drama, or by listening to music.

Thursday, July 06, 2017

Hey, July!

July was supposed to be my favorite month.
Lots of birthdays and anniversary.
But, this year July brings one sadness.

A dearest co-worker has decided to resign from office.

I'm always bad with saying goodbye, or even to show my emotions. People might sees me as an emotionless person. To be honest, I'm way more expressive with words and emoticons.emoji. 😁

I was scared, I was afraid I would said:

"Why you have to resign? Can't you just stay?

But, I know I can't said those selfish words. It must be difficult for her to made the decision.
All I can do  now is to keep maintain our good friendship, even though we aren't in the same office anymore. We can even still meet each other, since we are living in the same small city of Bogor. 😂

Hey, dearest friend, good luck on your new journey out there.
Best of luck and wishes. I hope we can "meet again" very soon. 😎

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

After the light out ... thank you!

On April and May, there were two big events that I have to participated as a part of my job. But to be honest, I wasn't completely going there because of my job, but also for personal reasons. As a friend and supporter. 😁

The first event was Konspirasi Alam Semesta: launching book and mini concert, held in Bandung on April 16, 2017. It was an event to celebrate Fiersa Besari's second book released. I went there with Megane-kun and Raj, our promotion's officer.

The show was a blast!

Friday, May 19, 2017

[Personal Review] BitterSweet - vistlip

Here I am again, writing a post when I finally got a brief time from work.
Well, it's not really a brief ... but I just have to manage it, so I would might disappeared again for some time. 😀

I finally get vistlip's fifth album, BitterSweet. The album was released with four kind of type: premium, limited, vister, and lipper. As always, I get lipper version, since I couldn’t afford the premium edition, even though it came with special figure merchandise design by umi … 😭

There are thirteen tracks on lipper version, with one song as a bonus track. The album include six singles and seven new songs.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Confusions result conclusion.

In English:

"Falling in love is a gift, though the journey isn't always beautiful".

Yap. I do agree.
Yet, I will never regret that I've fall in love, even though it has to end in the strange way.

You, who stands out from the others.
You, who have worked so hard, looking awesome and marvelous than the usual.
You who I admire, I adore.
But, it's actually not love.  

It's admiration.

I truly want you to be succeed in everything you do.
I truly want you to be happy.
I truly want to protect you.
As a friend. As a sister. 😌

Thus made the confusions finally result in a conclusion. 😊
I feel relief, I won't be confused any longer. It had creep me out and almost annoyed me. 😁

I do like you. I like your mother. I like your friends. I even like your girlfriend (a sweet and warm girl). But, I know, this feeling isn't love. 😊

Monday, April 17, 2017

Terima kasih, Masashi Kishimoto-sensei.

Finally the long volume of Naruto’s stories has ended. I know it has ended for quite some times, yet I just found the time to write about it now. 

Long before the story reached its final, I could already guess how it would end; skipping all details, Sasuke would eventually helped Naruto, and Naruto would finally reach his ultimate goal to be the village Hokage. But, I was surprised that Naruto gets married to Hinata. I really didn’t see it coming, and even though I was hoping Sasuke would finally accepted Sakura’s feeling for him, but their marriage and having a daughter was out of my mind. I really couldn’t imagine Sasuke being a father and called “papa” by his daughter hahahahahaha. 

My honest feeling, I don’t quite like with the end. Why do everyone has to get married? XD The only “couple” I’ve watched within the stories was Shikamaru and Temari. They obviously have something going on, but, Ino and Sai, also Naruto and Hinata? How they could end up together? It’s so awkward for me. ^^ (It still feels awkward even though with the special movie about Naruto and Hinata). 

I do love happy ending, with everyone alive and all happily continue their life. But, somehow I wish it would slightly different in Naruto’s stories. I was hoping it would go in a normal way: Naruto become the Hokage while slowly realizing his feeling was all along truly for Hinata; Sakura would still pursue her feelings to reached Sasuke, whom secretly has grown his feeling for her; those shown on Shikamaru and Temari’s marriage party. I would be happier if the story would end like that … but, that’s only my own wishing. I still feel happy with how it ends … as long as Sasuke is also happy. ^^

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Pilot Project: #CulikPenulis

Megane-kun had new idea for our next promotion project. He came out with an idea after watching a video of doing karaoke inside a moving car. He called it, "Writers on car looking for coffee".

The idea was as simple as the project's name, that is we took a writer and do live interview inside the car while we looked for a coffee shop/cafe and then continue our chit-chat there. To make it more interesting and sound funny, we create another name for the project: #CulikPenulis.

The pilot project has begun yesterday, with a writer living in Bandung. So, we have to drive from Jakarta to Bandung, get the writer, interview him on the car, and then headed to a coffee shop.

The plan project looked simple and very fun to do. All of us were excited. But, as a wise words saying, "we may have the plan, but up above had another plan". 😀

We left office at 10 am. It was quite late. But, we counted it would took 3-4 hours to reached Bandung on weekday. So, we were kinda chilling out. We were wrong ....

Monday, April 10, 2017

A Trip to Pahawang: a fail attempt of snorkeling.

Two weeks ago, I went to Pahawang with 4 co-workers in an open trip.
We left Jakarta on Friday night, and arriving on Saturday morning.
It's the second time I went to south of Sumatra by land (and sea by taking the ferry to crossed the strait).

To cut the story short, from the dock, we took a boat to our first destination on the trip.
There we were taught how to use the snorkeling equipment.
The first problem came ....

I can't wear my eye-glasses under water ....

Actually it was the second problem. The first was the fact that I couldn't swim ... but my friends assure me that I would be able to easily float in the sea. I still doubt it though. 😁
My friends took their time to taught me how to float, at least, and to breathe underwater. I was supposed to breath with my mouth, through the snorkeling equipment. But, I failed so many times. I kept breathing with my nose. 😅

Damn it! I'm a human! I breathe through my nose!!

Friday, April 07, 2017


Free time!
I finally get a free time~~~~ 😄
After finishing a 400 pages editing, I finally can relaxed a bit.
The scripts were with the authors now, for an editing checking.
I hope my editing will get 100% approval, and there won't be any revisions. 😎
If there's no revisions for the editing, it doesn't mean my work 100% done though.
I still have to assist for the book layout, cover design, and promotional event plans.
Those were the times when my mental being dragged out .... 😣 

But, even though I have 2-3 days this week, it doesn't mean I completely free to do anything.
Ever since Megane-kun switched his seat next to me, I couldn't be ease all the time.
He could talk about works in the sudden. I had to paused a video I was watching to listen to him 😄
His excused to switched seat was because he wanted to be in a "new environment" for getting new ideas. But, I believe it's more likely because his table was so messy that he doesn't want to bother cleaning it ....But, sometimes he makes me uncomfortable. I hope he will back to his own seat sooner or later 😈

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

"I love reading, more than I love you."

Finally, now I have a "book case" for covering the book whenever I took it to read on my way to office (also wherever I go out).

"I Love Reading More Than I love You" 

I'm sure someone would said to me, "That's why you don't have a boyfriend." 😂
But, I have a more romantic version for the words.

"I love reading more than I love you. But, what I love to read the most, is to 'read' about you."
(aka stalking 😂)

Someone: "Now that's why you still don't have a boyfriend." 😂

Monday, January 30, 2017

[Personal Review] The Girl on The Train.

The Girl on The Train was a novel written by Paula Hawkins. 
The story was about Rachel, who has been taking the same train every day. She always enjoyed the trip, passing houses along the railway. She loves watching one peculiar house with the life of the couple in it, whom she named after as “Jess” and “Jason”. She enjoyed watching over the couple, and having her own story (fantasies) about them. Until one day, Rachel –who was an alcoholic- saw something that ruined her image of “Jess”. Since then, Rachel has dragged herself in a mystery that might put her insanity in line. 

The novel writing was quite enjoyable; from the first person point of view, from three different lead woman characters, Rachel, Megan, and Anna. But, honestly, I was bored with half part of the novel. It’s too long, and the characters were also “annoying”. I’d like to scream to Rachel who was always been drunk in the story. Well, I know that’s her character, but it took too much. One thing that made me kept on reading was to see how the mystery revealed, which, later on amused me 😁

The part towards the end was quite exciting and dragged me to continue reading, even though it has passed my sleeping hour 😄 I have been guessing through the half part of the story; making assumptions. But, when the pieces of the puzzle were almost complete, when the connections slowly being cleared … BANG! I really never expect it! I really forget that one character, since he was too usual and seemed normal … I feel amused and tricked at the same time. Is this novel use some kind of mind game? 😲

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Right eyelid surgery.

After my romantic post, I decided to wrote the story of how I get my right eyelid surgery. 😎

On November 2016, I get a stye on my right eyelid. I thought it was a normal thing that would disappeared in times. I didn't take any medicine, just compress it with warm water. Eventually it got swollen, so I thought it's a normal process, the stye would be healed very soon.

It didn't. 😞

The swollen was gone, but the stye remained as big as a pea. I still didn't go to the doctor. I did took eye ointment, but nothing change. I even restrained myself from having too much of protein, such as egg. I really being thoughtful and careful when eating egg. "When did the last time I eat it?" or "How many egg I've eaten?" 😞

Then on January 2017, I finally went to a doctor, after a new stye was also showing on my left eyelid. It was a general doctor, since I was using BPJS account. The doctor only gave me some pills for the swollen and instructed me to go back if nothing changed. Of course nothing change and of course I got back, but this time directly to an eye specialist.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Your name, is YOU.

Last week I had a small operation on my right eyelid. There's a stye that has been there for almost two months. The doctor said it needs to take a small operation to get rid of it.

The operation took about 15-20 minutes. It was kinda hurt when the doctor injected anesthetic on my right eyelid. After it, I don't feel anything.

During the operation, I keep repeating "don't open your eyes" in my heart. I also mentioned Allah, Kimi, and... YOUR name. 

"How could it be?" I asked to myself.

It seemed that YOU have become important for my life.

Even though YOU will never realize it.

As always.

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

Hey, 2017!

Ah~~ The start of a new year. Yet, I still feel the same ahahaha~

For me, 2016 (and also the past years) has been like riding a roller-coaster. Even though, I haven't ride the real one for once...
There were ups and downs, happiness and sadness, stressed and depressed, usual stuffs that (probably) also happened to everyone. Just like the feel when you ride a roller-coaster, right? 😃

I'd choose to remember the happiness that has happened through out 2016. Since the sad ones were merely because of my foolish act and stupidity...