Tuesday, December 20, 2016

I can fool my age, but not with my body,

I can't drink coffee.

If I insisted to drink it, later on my stomach would be growling; I would feel restless, couldn't take deep breathe. and couldn't sleep at night.

At first, I only had the problem when I drink black coffee. Slowly, it also happened with coffee milk and white coffee. Even though the last one branded itself as "safe for stomach", but not with mine...
Since then I avoided coffee as my drink. When meeting a friend or colleague in a coffee shop, I would order Matcha or chocolate. It might be weird going to a coffee shop but not ordering coffee. But, it's safer for me. I don't want to spend a day feeling restless and couldn't breathe properly.

Do I have a heart problem?

Thursday, December 15, 2016


Among my Senior High gang's friends, I'm the only single one left.
My other seven friends have got married and had children.
Thus, it's quite difficult for us to get together for some reasons.

need permission from husband
no one to take care the kids
couldn't stay long because husband and kids are calling

I do understand those reasons. That's why I never get angry whenever we had to cancelled our meet and greet for the reasons, and even though it had been planned a month before.
I always said to them, "Pick the date and time, I can always go since I'm still a single fighter."

This weekend, one of my friend would held her 7th month pregnancy celebration. It's one traditions in Indonesia. I've informed the date to my other friends. Some said they could come. I said we can all meet at our friend's house, where the event would be held. I said that since I was used to come all by myself, no need to wait husband or kids to be ready. Then a friend said we should just arranged an appointment and go together.

"Why do you have to come all by yourself?"

Tuesday, December 06, 2016


While I was working, sometimes I need to create a song playlist to accompanied me, to bring me the mood, to feel the feeling within the story I was editing.

For the current editing, these are the playlist I've listened almost every day.
  1. Goodbye - Lim Do Hyuk
  2. I wish you were here. - Trustrick
  3. I get to love you - Ruelle
  4. Shallow Sleep (English Ensemble) - HYDE
  5. Vampire's Love (English version) - VAMPS
  6. 3-gatsu 14-nichi (Tokei) - Yamada Ryosuke & Okamoto Keito (Hey! Say! JUMP)
  7. My Girl - Yamada Ryosuke & Arioka Daiki (Hey! Say! JUMP)
  8. Don't Be Afraid - L'Arc~en~Ciel
  9. Hey Ho - Sekai no Owari
  10. Mr. Heartache - Sekai no Owari
  11. Tonight - Lee Joon Gi
  12. For A While - Lee Joon Gi
  13. Be With You - AKMU
  14. Heartache - One Ok Rock
While movies/series I've watched to bring the mood:
  1. Garo: Makai no Hana
  2. Garo
  3. Garo Makai Senki
  4. Library Wars
  5. Library Wars: Book of Memories
  6. Library Wars: The Last Mission
Anyone can guess what genre I was editing? ^^

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

"Write & Publish" : A Short Visit to Padang.

I went to Padang on 19 and 20 November 2016, as one of the speakers for “Write & Publish” event. I was so nervous, since I represent my company (that’s quite a responsibility), also I always feel uncomfortable whenever speaking in front of the crowd… I hope I didn’t mislead anyone with my explanations 😁

It’s my second time in Padang. The first one was when me and family spending a night in the city on our way to Father’s birth town. Both times were short visits. Yet, I did have fun there.   

Friday, November 04, 2016

"I wish you were here." and inspiration for a story.

Inspirations can come from anywhere, include from unusual activities, like while doing laundry or getting squeezed inside rush hour train in the morning.

Lately I've been listening to one song, "I wish you were here." from TRUSTRICK's new album TRICK. Main reason because Sugizo as guest violinist, and his violin's play sounds so beautiful~
While listening to the song, my mind writes an alternate scene taken from a story I've also been writing in my mind. (I've only write it on my mind, since I always get blank whenever I want to write it on my laptop or note book).

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Japan Visual Summit 2016 Day 3 Live Viewing in Indonesia.

Just a week before the event, my small world of Japanese music was in chaotic over the announcement of Japan Visual Summit 2016 live viewing. Even more, Indonesia got Day 3 live viewing.

Familiar names who will performed on Day 3 are:

X Japan
Luna Sea
vistlip (!!!!!!)

Can you imagine how I was freaking out after the live viewing announcement? I even already imagine watching vistlip's performance on the big screen, together with people who might haven't known them. The chance to watched one of the love in my life, even though it wasn't a live performance.

You see, I'm really excited when I knew vistlip would be in the same day performance as Angelo, X Japan, Luna Sea, and Versailles. I had this wish of umi to be able to meet Sugizo and Kirito. Yet, they might performed together. It would become a short heaven on earth for me ^^ Indonesia get to live viewing Day 3, what would be more awesome than that? I thought I was in Seventh Heaven hehehe

On the first day of ticket sales, I asked permission from office and quickly to the theater in the middle of the rain hahaha I was wet and cold, but smile was all over my face as I bought two tickets for me and Ni-chan. I get home smiling, thinking I would saw umi on the screen. 

But, things were really too good to be true...

Monday, October 03, 2016

Turned? Nah!

I thought I was crazy when decided to get Lee Joon Gi’s music album. Since obviously he isn’t on my to-get list. I also thought I was crazy enough when I bought one of his albums from another part of the world… But after the package came and unwrapped it… Damn… It’s really worth to get. No regret at all ^^

Thursday, September 08, 2016

Still with my nostalgia: Lee Jun Ki.

Since I don't have many works at the moment, so I can (randomly) write here hehehe

Actually... I have to decide a title for an up coming releasing book (I work as an editor), but I haven't find any good one.
I've proposed some titles, yesterday I proposed seven titles and none get to be choose... Orz
Today, I proposed some other titles, but again none get choose... Makes me bored now hehehe even though the deadline already passed... *depressed*

Then Megane-kun (my chief) said, "Hey, you don't have new works to do at the moment, right? So you could handle one promotion event,"

He asked as if I could replied, "No, I'm busy with my fan girl's life, so I don't want to do any works, especially any promotion event."

I surely can't ^^;;;

Well, it's one of the exciting things to do in the field of works. Doing different and new things. But... again... I'm kinda "busy" (and lazy) at the moment hehehe

Friday, September 02, 2016

My Nostlagia: Lee Jun Ki.

One day, my friend Ni-chan told me about a new Korean drama series that she wanted to watched. It's "Scarlet Heart: Ryeo", starring Lee Joon Gi (or Lee Jun Ki). I instantly remember about that "cat's eyes" actor.

"How he has been???????"

I do have interest in Lee Joon Gi works. I know he's a great actor. But, I have to admit that I barely watched any of his works after "Iljimae". I even haven't finished watching the series XD

What kind of fan am I...??????? Orz

But, seeing Lee Joon Gi now... His look has changed so much! He gets so skinny >.<
I didn't noticed it when I watched "Scarlet Heart: Ryeo", with his long hair and thick outfit. Then I saw him on Running Man episode 314... I get freaked out and quickly told Ni-chan about it. Then both of us freaking out hahaha


Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Dreams come true!

Last week, I think, I tweeted about how I miss vistlip so much.
The feeling just came out of nowhere.
I still listen to their songs, watched their videos, and the members were still updating on twitter (except for tomo, I wonder will he ever come back to twitter?).

I wonder will there be new songs from the five barkin's animals? Will there be new album? I know they are still busy with live performances and not releasing things mean they are resting after so many works. I do want them to rest well.

But, I just miss them.

Then the news come...

vistlip will participated in Visual Japan Summit 2016! Their performance day are on October 16th 2016, together with my other favorite band: X Japan, Luna Sea, Angelo, and Versailles.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Happy Independence Day INDONESIA!

Yesterday, August 17th 2016, Indonesia celebrated it's 71th Independence Day.
Congratulations Indonesia!!
With the good and the bad, it's still my country, where I was born and been living.
Hope the nation, together with the people (aka me), would be doing better day by day, towards the future.

I will always be grateful and gratitude to the Veterans, heroes, without them there won't be Indonesia. Also, thank you for "modern" heroes, whom has given proud for the entire nation. Without you, we're nothing.

Perfect gift for this year's celebration is that we got our first gold medal on the Rio Olympic, through the badminton final by the duo, Tontowi Ahmad and Liliyana Natsir. Congratulations! Thank you!!

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Thank you, Rio. And, I'm so sorry...

Yesterday, through their twitter and facebook account, Manor Racing has informed Rio Haryanto's future status with the team. For the rest of 2016 season, Rio will be no longer racing for Manor because of the lack of funds, and was offered to be reserve driver. His position will be replaced by Esteban Ocon.

Today, Rio has confirmed it.
(And my heart hurts as I read replies for him...)

I'm sad to hear that.

I admit, I haven't properly shown my support for Rio during his races, that mostly are for Kimi, but my heart does support him.

I feel proud and happy as Rio is the very first Indonesian who race in F1. It's quite an achievement that we might won't have in the near future. (or even further?)

Friday, August 05, 2016

New releases,

I get excited since yesterday. There will be lots of release in the up coming month! 

Angelo, will released new album on September 28th. The title is "Cord". It's been a while I haven't catch up with the band, and the newest info I get now is that they are releasing new album, without releasing any single before. I like that very much. Fufufu.

Sekai no Owari will also released new single on September 28th, called "Hey Ho". I think it's a single. I get the news from a local online store, and the price showed a price for a single not an album. But, I haven't seen news about the release from Sekaowa's official account, neither from any fans. So, I'm still blank about this...

The last news I get is from Placebo. Placebo's Indonesia fan base tweeted about new album and EP release from Placebo. Set to be released on October 7th, 2016.

The album, A Place For Us To Dream, will be released in various variations. While the EP, Life's What You Make It, will be release in limited edition Springtime Green & Black Vinyl (I really don't know what that mean...), and digital download. I do hope the album will get an Indonesian version album. Perfect time since I've been catching up with them again nurufufufufu~

Tetsuya will also finally released his new single on September. While don't forget, Sugizo will also be starting his three new digital single releases starting this August. I hope they could be bought not only on iTunes, but also Amazon. It would be a pain for me to get it from iTunes...since I don't use it hehehe.  

Good luck for the releases~ ^O^/

Tuesday, August 02, 2016

Pokemon GO!


Long time ago, when Candy Crush was booming, and everyone seemed playing it, during work, lunch break, inside crowded train, I didn't join the euphoria.

I'm just not too interested in game, any kind of game.
I'm not fond to stared too long at the screen. It hurts my eyes.

So, when everyone all together playing Pokemon GO, I didn't joined the cheer either hehehe

I have the game on my cell phone, just because a friend installed it so she can play it. At the time, the game hasn't been compatible for her phone. After that, she plays with her own phone, and mine was left rusty hehehe

Friday, July 29, 2016


July is my favorite month.
Not only because it's the month of my birth. But, there also birthdays and celebration of things important for my life.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Getting back to the past with PLACEBO

It’s been years since the last time I’ve listened to PLACEBO. I’ve started listening to them again since last week. 

My encounter with Placebo’s music was actually embarrassing, the same as the reason why I stopped listening to them. 

Placebo was a favorite band of my crush on college era. He idolized Brian Molko so much, that he somehow kind of looking likes the vocalist, and even adds “Molko” on his name on an “old” social media platform. 

Because of that reason, I come listening to Placebo hehehe I even bought three of their cassette albums… “Without You I’m Nothing”, “Sleeping with Ghosts”, and “Once More With Feeling – The Singles”. Surprisingly, I’ve become to like Placebo’s music and Brian Molko’s unique voice. But regrettably, I don’t know where these cassettes are now… Maybe, my brother has sold it away… 

My feeling for the crush didn’t continued on, so eventually I also stopped listening to Placebo hehehe Since it brought sweet, but mostly embarrassing memories about me and the crush.  

Then, I was listening to a song from AFI (A Fire Inside), “Prelude 12/21”, when Placebo’s music crossed my mind again. Fortunately, Placebo was also the band that influenced AFI. No wonder I come to remember about them. 

Over the years I didn't listened to Placebo, they still has the same music feeling, Brian Molko still has the same unique voice, but his appearance did changed a lot. I always thought that I would remember the face of my crush, when I listen to Brian Molko's singing voice. But...I don't. I couldn't remember his face really well, can't imagine how he would be looking now, even I forget his full name... 

Well then, my feelings for the crush may end, but my liking to Placebo was still around. It’s time for me to catch up with them now. ^^

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Happy Eid Mubarak!

I know it's kind of late to say it now, but since I've just get back to work after the long holiday, so please bear me out hehehe.


May our prayers and good deeds through the Ramadhan will get positive feedback for us and everyone around.

One thing that I realized during the Ramadhan was... I am the devil itself.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Me vs Monday.

I understand why most people doesn't like Monday. I understand why there's "I Hate Monday" quote, or "Monday is Money Day", also "Monday is Monster Day".

Me and Monday will never be a good friend.

Monday is the first day of weekdays, first day of work (and school), meaning traffic jam everywhere, people rushing on the street, and crowded at the train.

I usually had "Monday Syndromes" on the day. One that always happened is severe head ache, causing I never can work properly on Monday, just wanted the time to passed as fast as it can.

So on every Monday, I tried not to do much work hehehe

Yesterday, I was only browsing the internet, while once in a while tried to done some work...just some, not too much. I could feel light head ache right away... plus, this week is also the last office week since next week we'll be having holidays to celebrate Idul Fitri. The degree of laziness are rising high hahaha

One that I browse on the internet was the audio book about Malec from "The Bane Chronicles" and from "Tales from Shadowhunter Academy". I've bought The Bane Chronicles and I've read the epub of the later, but I still get teased to get the audiobook hehehe
But, I didn't quickly click the "buy" button since the total cost I have to paid was quite big... The shipping cost was more than the audio book price. I stopped because of the cost hahaha Now, I'm thinking about it again, do I really need to bought it, so bad, that I would spend so much money for it?

I think, I won't hehehe

I finally bought the audible for the mentioned audio book! HAHAHA! I'm become very "scary" when I'm obsessed with something. Now, the next problem to solved, how I could play the audible by laptop and mp3 player, instead using the app...?

Friday, June 24, 2016


Finally my book order has arrived!

It’s quite a big package for one book, yes? I was truly amazed, Periplus (^^).

I’ve lost count of the days waiting it to come. From the beginning of my order, I was told it would take between 10 to 20 days, not including weekends and public holidays. Damn, I thought I could have it before the starting of fasting month. 
Later on, I was told that the book has been shipped from the publisher, which is outside the country, and it would take 10-20 days to arrive. Huh, another 10 to 20 days??? So, I guess it’s normal that I would babble about it on my twitter hehehe 

What book did I order?

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Transferring Stories: A Fairy Tale.

This story is one of my writings that I really enjoy doing it.
It's based on "YES" music video from Acid Black Cherry.
Until now, I still don't understand the relation between the story in the music video and the song's lyric, but I do enjoy both (^^).

. . .

Yasu is the garden fairy. He can only be seen by people who's having a weak heart. His duty is to accompany the person and make the heart stronger. One day a little girl greets him. What will become from their meeting?

. . .

Friday, June 10, 2016

Transferring stories: KAORU

I'm thinking to transferring to this blog, the stories (mostly fan fiction) I've wrote on wattpad. Since I found that it required readers to log in to read complete story.
I will transferred it one by one though. Randomly.

I will start with: KAORU.
I've spoke about it before. A story based on the feeling when I listen to Versailles's, "Created Beauty".
But, it's not a  fan fiction. The characters AREN'T the member of Versailles.
Actually, the story is a part from long writings I've been delaying to continue...

Well, with no further chit-chat, enjoy!

Monday, June 06, 2016

Greeting from the other side

I have been sleepless for several days. It’s because, youngest niece aka April has been waking up and crying in the middle of the night. 

On the first day, April woke up and cried at 1am. It’s really not usual for her to wake up in the sudden. She cried for almost 1 hour, asking for bottle of milk and to get out from her room, also the house. 

On the second day, April woke up at 12am, still crying, asking for bottle of milk, and to get out. She woke up again at 3am… I was joking, that maybe there’s “something” she saw and made her cried. Because, April always cried at the time, that some people said it’s the time when the day was changing, and when the gate of the other world was being opened, setting astral’s creature to pass through. 

On the third day, April woke up at 1am, and I did saw that she’s not looking usual, made me think she was…possessed. She cried asking for bottle milk, while she already holds it on her hands. She asked to get out from the house, while outside was still dark pitch. April’s mother said that before gone to bed, she has read several prayers to protect her daughter while sleeping, but it seemed didn’t affect too much. I was joking again, saying maybe April saw her Granny’s spirit (aka my mother), since it’s almost fasting month, and (again) people said it’s the time when our loved ones dead spirit would be coming home to see the living ones… 

On the fourth day, April woke up at 3am and cried for an hour again. In the morning, her mother asked her why she’s been crying at night. April said in a low and swiftly voice, “ghost” …

Friday, June 03, 2016

Happy birthday, BOGOR!


The city I've been living since the nineties.
I moved to the city on my 3rd year of elementary school, some years after my father passing away. Sister told me that it was father's intention to moved to the city, spending his pension times.

It wasn't easy to live in new place, especially when I don't understand the local language, which is Sundanese. And, up until now, I still can't speak the language... I can understand when people talks Sundanese, but don't asked me to speak it. Also, a friend once said, "It doesn't fit you." hehehe

I always think Bogor is a small city, and wonders why people always like to come in weekends or holidays. They created massive traffic jam and crowd, which I really dislike the situation hehehe 

Over the years, I watched the changing of Bogor, especially around my neighborhood. My house was the very first one in the area. Then one by one, new people came, side by side, in the front, kinda made me missed the times when there's only my house with empty fields all around.

Thursday, June 02, 2016

"Home Sweet Home"

Yesterday, Nephew finally completed his college registry. He ought to started college activities by the end of August.
Through the two days of the visit to the new city, Nephew's mother (aka my sister) was giving me live report of their activities, from the departing train, arrived at the hotel, looking for rent rooms for the college, the registry process, till they were arriving back home (since I was at the office at the time they arrived).

On the first night, sister texted me,

"I watched him sleeping, and I cried and pray to God...because soon we will be apart..."

I replied her,

"You are over reacting,"

Friday, May 27, 2016

"Tada mae e"

Been hooked (again) with one of Hey! Say! JUMP's song, "Tada mae e".

The first time I listen was from JUMPing CARnival DVD.

I get hooked by Yamada's gentle and "yummy" voice.


I really don't know the right words to describe Yamada's voice in the song.
The melody and his voice was perfectly blend in. So yummy!! (^^)

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Journey of (another) Stupidity.

Last Saturday, I attended a “comedy writing workshop” with the famous Raditya Dika. 
The workshop was interesting. I could also see with my own eyes how Raditya do a standup comedy live on the spot. His jokes were indeed funny. (^^)

Then, what kind of stupidity happened by me this time? 

The workshop was held in a library inside the Ministry of Education’s building. 
I knew where it’s located, but to make sure I checked Google maps for a direction.

Friday, May 20, 2016


Betrayed is hurt.

When I put high hopes, feeling excited, feeling cheerful, then later...
It's GONE.

The high hopes I delivered.
The excitement I felt.
The happiness I've thought about.

Don't give high hopes if you can't delivered it.
Don't give the excitement, if in the end you would betray it.
Don't give happiness, when you're just going to bash it away.

Please, don't.

But, no matter how bad I got hurt, I still put high hopes.
Yeah, that's what I will always do.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Time do flies.

Yesterday was Zufar's (oldest nephew) senior high school farewell party.
From early morning he has dressed up, wearing formal suit.
The day before, his mother told me that Zufar was declared as the "King" from social class. It's because of his good grades during one year study.

As an aunt, of course I feel proud.
Seeing the little chubby cute bald boy I used to babysit, now has been all growing up.
It felt like happened yesterday, when I lullaby him with one of Hyde's song, "prayer".
Now, Zufar has graduate his senior high, and in August he will soon go to college.

That's when I started to feel worried...

Monday, April 25, 2016

[Impression] Assassination Classroom Graduation.

Last Saturday, I finally watched Assassination Classroom second movie at CGV Blitz Grand Indonesia. My main purpose was of course to watch Yamada Ryosuke’s act in this second movie (^^v). He’s really fun to watch! I think Yamada has successfully performed his role in the movie as Nagisa Shiota. He has shown different face and voice from his usual, made me difficult to trace his side as an idol. But, he still has that enchanted and beautiful smile. Damn, I really like Yamada’s smile and this is dangerous. XD 

Friday, April 22, 2016

[work] Catatan Harian INDIGO

Once I thought, it might be cool to have sixth sense, able to see the dead souls.
But, now I know it isn't as cool as it looks to be...

Editing "Catatan Harian INDIGO" has made me realized it.

Catatan Harian INDIGO tells about the real experiences of an Indigo, who can see the dead souls, of course in their most scary forms, every time and every where he goes.
A scary and annoying times for him. Yet, somehow he manage to create bond with some of the ghost, and they become best friends.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Dear 智,

Dear 智,

It's odd not seeing you on twitter.
It feels lonely.
It feels incomplete...

I could only guess the reason.

But, somehow I could understand your reaction.
You were trying to help someone, saving someone's life.
Just like your words (your promise?) on [PERIOD]. 
So I understand if you are feeling upset.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Unwrapped vistlip’s new mini album, SENSE.

vistlip has released a new album on 30 March 2016. Usually I would receive it a day before or after, or in the same week with the release date. But, it came a week after, and it made me annoyed, worrying it would be lost somewhere in the sea, or in the custom.

As usual, I order lipper version, contains 6 songs, with one “rebirth” song. The track lists are:
1.    Chaplin
2.    Imitation Gold
3.    La Vista
4.    As You Know.
5.    Rosalia Lombardo
6.    Aya (Re:birth)

Chaplin was composed by umi. Of course when I knew, I quickly go insane hahaha but, the music is quite different feeling with “chapter ask”, either “Reset Circle”. It’s a fast and rough track with umi’s growling at the back of tomo’s voice. I’m happy I could listen to another umi’s composing. Hopefully in the future he would composed more, and maybe also wrote the lyric.

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

SUGIZO's voyage with Syrian refugees.

One thing that I like from SUGIZO is his care for humanity issues.
Recently, he has visited the Syrian refugees camp in Jordan. As a Japan's delegation for UNHCR.
He interact with the refugees and had a performance.
A simple performance for a JRock star like him.
But I believe, that simple performance succeed to touched the heart of the refugees.

Sugizo has wrote a note about his trip to the camp.

These people did not want to become refugees, nor did they choose their current situation.

A very strong message from Sugizo, whom has visited the location. And, I can't thank him enough for doing so, also for sharing his thoughts and pictures while he was there.
Reading his note, seeing his smiling face, along with the refugees, especially the children, have bring tears in my eyes. He's truly a beautiful soul.

Thank you for willing to care,
Thank you for coming, 
Thank you for understanding. 

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

Kimi's first podium in 2016 season.

I really need to thank Rio Haryanto (and people who financially supported him).
Thanks to them, the Formula One show is back on local TV, and it's mean I can watch Kimi again!! Wasshoi!!

The first race in Melbourne was not good... Kimi had to retired (the same with Rio).
But, it feels so good to see Kimi's race again. The excitement at the start, overtaking, pits strategy, etc. I really miss it all.  And I do proud as an Indonesian, to see Rio able to race among famous and talented drivers on earth.

On second race in Bahrain, Kimi succeed to secure 2nd place. It's his first podium of 2016 season.
He was quite late at the start, almost caught up in a collusion on turn one, and lose his position to 5th. But, he managed to slowly "climbed" to be in 2nd place, and maintain the position till the end. Yessa!!

Friday, March 18, 2016

Thank You.

When someone do kindness to us, what would we do?
Of course saying "thank you", right?

But I guess there were people who seemed don't want to get the gratitude words.
My friend, P, might be one of the people.

The story was P and his wife was having a vacation in Japan.
When I saw his tweet, I quickly mention him.

K: "Hey, can I ask you a favor to get me something (from Japan)?"
P: "If I could, sure, what do you want?"
K: "How long you will be staying there?"
P: "I'll be home on xxxx (mentioning the date)."

I quickly think what would I want him to get... CD? DVD? Merchandise? Katana? Kimono?
After days, I didn't know what I want...also I don't have money...

K: "Yo, P. I think I don't want anything, enjoy your holiday~"
P: "Hahaha, thanks!"

Thursday, March 17, 2016

umi & SUGIZO

No, it's not a picture of umi and SUGIZO together.
Even though it might be interesting to see the two together.
I hope someday SUGIZO would invite umi to his "Guitarist Meet Up". (^^)

Anyway, here are some of umi's picture from Motto2 vol. 17.
I only post that I likes huehehe

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Mood at the moment.

Just a quick post between (never ending) deadlines.

Been liking one song lately...
That it comforts, and at the same time "slapped" me...

Setsunasa Hikikaeni - Hey! Say! JUMP
(Lyrics and translation here.)

I really like the part saying, "You are my light".
And sometimes my ears hears it as...



And then I made this ...

Monday, March 07, 2016

Deadline vs (1 day) Holiday.

As usual...whenever I'm with deadlines, I get the feel to blog...
It's deadlines, but my mind is already on this week one day holiday. It's a national holiday, and also the day the eclipse will took place. Even so, my plan for the day is sleeping and (might be) watching DVD.

I've intended to made a blog post about the arriving DVD. But, I was having flu on weekend + had to do laundry for my ill sister in law, so mostly I was sleeping on Saturday. On Sunday, I watched three movies while still being ill, even though I have works for Monday. I managed to finished the work at night, just before I get to sleep... XD

The three movies I've watched are:
1. The Revenant
2. Victor Frankenstein
3. Shinjuku Swan (Japanese movie)

I won't make reviews for the movies, since it didn't give me deep impression ^^

The Revenant having beautiful landscape to enjoy, yet tiring watching Leonardo DiCaprio's over and over near to death experience ^^

I've been wanting to watched Daniel Radcliffe act beside being Harry Potter (^^). He has surely grown up, and having a man's voice. I didn't recognize his voice in the movie. But, the story isn't too fascinating.

I also been wanting to watched Iseya Yusuke's act in Shinjuku Swan. He always blend perfectly with every role he played. But, the story pace was a bit strange... Is it because it's an adaption of the manga, so the pace was quite fast? Watching the movie made me think, "Shinjuku is quite scary area..." (OY! NO ONE WOULD EVER SCOUT YOU!!) 

Why days are passing so fast when I got deadlines???

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Depression and the desire to end a life

When I read this post, I remember the long desire to end my own life, to commit suicide.

The desire caused by a reason, which was coming from my own Mother.
My Mother adored her sons so much, that exclude her girls. Discrimination happened, in attention and treatment. Often, I saw her eyes become sparkling and lively whenever her boys come to visit, while she never gave the kind of look to me.   

I felt tired with the discrimination and heart ache, and that’s when I thought to end my own life, to slice my wrist. But, the intention never become real, because… I was scared of the pain and the sin if I ever do it.  

The sadness…
How it brings me down.
I know I have no choice.
Is it wise? Taking a life?
(Prayer – Hyde)

The song saved me. I carefully thought about the desire and finally decided not to do it, ever.

Monday, January 11, 2016


It’s been weeks since I colored my hair with red color, and I still get surprising looked from friends and co-workers.

What’s your motivation?
I thought you won’t ever do something like that (coloring the hair).
You’ve become more stylists.
After it, you should grow your hair long; you’ll be looking more girly.

The changing hair color really surprised everyone hahaha and anyway, what’s the relation between coloring my hair, with becoming more girly (which I never intended to be)?

If only they knew the “tragedy” of the red hair color…

I was going to have my hair cut with a friend. While waiting for the hair dresser finishing his works, we were doing hair and body treatment, which it was my first time since I was born to the world…
As usual I only cut my hair short. The hair dresser did a fine job. Then when we were about to paid the bill, we’re being offered to color our hair. I was planning to do so, but I just haven’t got the right timing. Since my friend agreed, then we picked the color for the hair. I choose light green, which it led to the big mistake…

Friday, January 08, 2016

Versaille's new fan fiction.

Since Versailles has announced their revival on last year December, and will start new activities on August 2016, I wrote new chapter for the fan fiction series (^^).

"We are the descendants of rose"

Read the story on my wattpad account (you need to log in to read the stories),
or on Figment.

Thank you for reading~

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

Hello, 2016!

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2016~

Late post again hehehe

I should have post about my 2015, and my plans (resolutions) for 2016. But, since I never succeed doing resolutions for years, I won’t make it either for 2016. (^^)

At the eve of New Year, I realized some things had changed: there weren’t too many fire crackers, so I could slept well, and I also have prepared new calendar for the new year, which usually I got it after 2 months. I hope the habit changes would mean good things for my 2016.  

My 2015 was like riding a rollercoaster (which I haven’t rides the real one for once in my whole life…). Big changed at work; doing new job desk that excited me, plus with the tension, worries, and responsibilities. I also had a scary experienced, a car accident, that made me quite feel traumatic. 

I was emotionally tired, being quite sensitive, almost break down, almost gave up, wanted to run away from everything, depressed, stressed, betrayed, tired being the good guy, hate the world and the people… How it’s easier to hate than trying to understand…

I wonder how I could manage to get through it all. Remembering the times, the silent tears… I feel glad I could get through it alive (^^).