When I feel stressed and depressed, sometimes I feel angry to the world.
Why I had to suffer alone?
Of course it’s only coming from my mind. Just like people have said, “Illness comes from the mind.”
I was really stressed and depressed lately, and realize I was alone. I don’t know to whom I could share the feeling; I don’t have anyone on my side. The feeling depressed me that much that I turned to become a coward. Instead of facing and deal with the fear, I opted to walk away, to run away, looking for the easiest and safest way out.
I was a coward.I realize I was a coward when a question popped out on my mind. It’s a question from a story inside a comic “Trinity Blood”.
“Why Abel treat the world as his enemy?” is my question. I soon get the answered from reading the story again.
Abel hated the world because he feels useless, no matter what he does, how hard he tried, he can’t save his beloved ones. Being depressed, Abel treated the world (the people) as his enemy and hated it for taking away the live of his beloved ones. Even so, actually Abel still loved the world (the people), he can’t turn his back against it. “It (the world, the people) can be change, do not lose hope.”
I realize I’m not the same as Abel. He wasn’t a coward, even though he has suffered a lot, but he isn’t a coward. He still fighting, trying to save the people he loved. While me? I was running away, being an asshole and a coward.
Having troubles and problems in life doesn’t mean the end of the world. It depends on how I would deal with it, will I run away or facing the pain?
I know I will still feeling the same whenever troubles came again, but I will be stronger. Not being angry to the world again, I will just said, “I'm fine, be strong.”
Also for you, I know it’s not easy, but, let’s be strong :)