I'm amazed to see how time flies so fast.
It felt not a long ago, when my first nephew was born. He was my first nephew in the family and the first grandson. Of course the entire family showered him with attention, love, and gifts. His mother always prepared homemade and healthy food. While I gave him many books, gifts, letter's posters, toys, etc.
I remember the times when I babysit him. We play together, sang him lullabies; (I remember getting bored with the lullaby I sang for him, so I sang "Prayer" from HYDE instead, and it worked! Several times he gets to sleep with the song. I even listened HEART album to him. Maybe that time was his first experienced with J-Rock's music hahaha); I feed him banana, walked him to school, witnessing his admiration to dinosaurs and wanted to be a paleontologist, going to his school trip, attending his school meeting... I feel I was almost like his parents, except that I don't breastfeeding him and not paying his school fare hahaha
The baby I used to babysit has turned to 17 years old. He's all grown up. He's way taller than me now. I can't slap his head again hahaha, Because of my influence, he got to like Japanese music, history, and manga. I'm a bad influence, huh?
Nephew lost his father (my brother-in-law) when he was in elementary school. He didn't cried. He said all living things will face death, so we don't have to feel sad. I thought he was just pretending to be strong. When his father was going to get buried, he finally cried... I remember it well, because I recorded the whole thing and my hands were shaken. He was like me, losing father at early age. I've promised him and his little sister that they don't have to worried about anything. They won't be alone. They have many uncles and aunt who will look after them.
Making such promise isn't easy. Even with the promise, he still feel the lost of a father's figure. A figure that I can't ever replaced. I won't either.
I know Nephew sometimes pushed himself too hard. I know he's worried about his future, to be grown up who then have to look after his mother and sister. Sometimes he get stressed. I see myself at him, and how it could be harder if I don't have brothers and sister around. I was protected by my brothers and sister, so I thought this time it's my turn to protect my nephew and niece who's having the same lost.
But, I think I haven't done it in the right way hahaha
Nephew has grew far from my expectations. I thought he would grew as a quiet and nerdy boy. He grew like a ... freak? Hahaha I don't know the right word to resemble him, but he's kinda weird...I feel he kept an anger inside that it will be scary if it explodes. Sometimes he seemed to be living in his own world, having too high imaginations. Maybe it's the effect of liking dinosaurs too much? Sometimes he can be so antipathy with others, even to his school friends. He won't served drinks to his friends though they have been chatting for the whole day hahaha. He isn't good in reflex, sometimes he can easily dropped a glass. He also can get sick easily.
But, he isn't afraid with animals, except for spiders. And he also willing to help with his little sister's studies, even though he has too shout first.
I do feel missing the cute and chubby baby boy. Nephew has grown far away from his childhood look. He becomes tall and skinny, with shrill voice. He has friends that frequently visited the house. He has joined the Journalist club at his school. He has fall in love...twice...and get rejected hahaha...Once I asked him, "Where did the cute little boy disappeared?"
Nephew: "How the hell I know?!" *smacked*
As Nephew grew, I also feel worried with his future. Where he will go to college? Where he will be working? Can he live far and by himself?
But, he has to learn by himself. Sooner or later...Nephew has to make his own journey and experience many things. He won't learn if he being kept close and protected.
I know...I know..but still...
I'm having a feeling like a mother who's son has slowly grown up.
I can only pray the best for him.
May Nephew always live well. May he found what he really want for his own future. May he stop fantasizing things and live fully in the real world. May he always be kind and care for his family, especially to his mother and little sister. May he live a shining and bright future. Amin.
Happy birthday, Nephew~