Thursday, June 12, 2014

June 11th.

Yesterday was my mother birthday.
Yet, I guess everyone was too tired to make a celebration.
I also only read Surah Yasin for her soul and end it with a whisper, "Happy birthday okaasan..."

Earlier on the way home from office, Tia-chan suddenly asked me a question. She didn't know it was my mother's birthday.

Tia: "It amazed me to see you cried."
Me: "On my mother's death? Isn't it normal?"
Tia: "Well, yeah...but I really don't expect you would cried."
Me: "I was crying because of the situation, telling people about the news, but it didn't took long."
Tia: "Yeah, I was surprised too. A friend lost her mother too, and she still crying for over than a month."
Me: "Wow, how could she cried for over a month?"
Tia: "Maybe since she was quite close with her mother."
Me: "Mmm...might be so..."
Tia: "I wonder how can you don't cried a lot?"
Me: "So, are you amazed because I cried or because I don't cried a lot?"

Tia-chan doesn't know that until this day, I still carry the feeling of guilt.
Even though my sister has made it firm that it was Mother's time to go, I still feel I could do something for her.

And lately I've been watching the new Mahabharata TV series.
I remember it was one of my Mother's favorite.
Last night I watched it alone, and I was thinking...if Mother was still alive, she would love the series and we would watched it together.

Happy birthday, Okaasan.
How was up there?

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