Saturday, May 11, 2013

Alive

I forget how it was started.
Had a short chat with nephew during our brunch.

Me: "Then are you tired of living?" 
Nephew: "Yes," 

What's going on here?

I might have passed something.
Something I didn't knew that has made nephew depressed and tired with his life.
And he's just 15 years old.
What could made him tired?

School? Girls? Growing up without a father? Annoying aunt? (aka me).

Well the school these days were truly hard. The students carried heavy burdens.
It's so mush different with my times when school was just a place to spend the morning time. (XD)

Nephew had a crush at school. But their relationship has just gone as far as sending short messages. *pats nephew*

The situation wasn't quite the same, but I also grew up without a father. And I could manage it quite well. Nephew's condition was far more better than mine. His daddy's friends were willing to help out. While my mother was left alone...

And even though I was quite annoying, love to teased nephew, and sometimes rude, but I do care for him. He just doesn't have to know it.


I remembered the similar chat with a friend.

As far as I can see, this friend doesn't have difficulties with life. Not economically. But she has family's problem. Her father cheated and married another woman. They then get divorced and the father came back home. That's why she couldn't forgive him. Even so, I supposed it wasn't the reason why she felt tired with life. She's just being spoiled. She's like that because she hasn't met the real difficulties in life. She egoistically saying that it's better to live only with a mother. Then what about my nephew and niece who long for a father?

Tired with life? Wanna end the life?
Then what about people who struggle to keep alive? People with deadly diseases that I'm sure will ask for a chance to live more than anything. I'm sure that's what my friend would asked.

To be honest, I also have had the thought to end my life. It was my lowest times in life.
I also knew someone that had slice her wrist, but didn't die. It somehow encouraged me. (:D)
But, I didn't dare. I didn't have the slightest courage to do it. Beside, my religion has forbid such action. I would go straight to hell...(though I would still be going there anyway...). It's my last defense: My religion.

I took back my words on the post about wanting to tell my friend to die after she felt tired with her life.
It's not right. I was moved with anger when I had the thinking. I apologize.

I also think it's okay if sometimes we feel tired with life. But don't go far like thinking to end it.
Think it carefully. Is there no other way? I'm sure there is.
Think about the good sides of life that has happened. I'm sure there's one or two.
Think about people who wishing to live longer but they couldn't. It works for me.
Think about what you have and that other people don't.

I felt annoyed when someone said tired with life.
I really felt sad when someone I knew said they wanted to end their life.
Even I felt sad when I randomly read blog posts about it.

Please don't have the thinking, people. Cherished your life, the good and the bad of it.
You're alive. That itself is a blessing :)  

2 comments:

Tohya said...

depression is not a good point when it comes to believe.
hopefully your nephew will be healthy and good at the end.

i wish you all the best!

KiRaidesu said...

@Tohya: Thank you~ :)