Thursday, February 14, 2013

"I hate myself and I want to die"

What a tough week.
Last week I've finished interviewing a pediatrician for the up coming book I'm editing. And today I finally finished to wrote down the interview. The next step will be writing a book from the interview. I only have less than a week to do it because second script has awaiting...

Today  I was supposed to have weekly meeting, but it was cancelled because megane-kun still have deadlines to finished.
So the meeting is reschedule for tomorrow, two sessions, the whole day...

At the moment I'm taking a short break
So I'm writing this...

I really missed to write. I love writing, and about everything!
I think I'm more talkative by writing than saying words. Also, writing helps me to feel better.

So...I'm hating myself too at the moment...
I hate my cowardliness and hesitant to do or say something.

What has happen?

Daddy Boss have mention some issue that I've already know since weeks ago.
But I always feel hesitant to report it. I feel I haven't gather enough information to back me up (plus I'm too shy to report it * orz * ). So I hold it up.
Meeting by meeting passes and...bang! He finally said the issues. And I was like, "Hey, I already know it..."

I'm stupid and useless...
I feel useless for Daddy Boss.
He has been so kind to me, to everyone. I've promised that I'm going to help and support him with my works. But what have I done?
I'm a disappointment. I'm disappointed with myself.

And the title of this post...I know it's only a run away from the disappointment.
It's so cheesy and it won't help me.

What can I do?
Start to working everything it up. Yeah, that's what I supposed to do.


Yeah, I do love to write~~

*I hate myself and I want to die is a song title from Rentrer en Soi. 

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