Friday, January 04, 2013

"The Ghost of You"

It's already one month from the passed away of Mom.
To be honest, I still can't completely forget her.
Especially her image on her last days of living.

I remember when I watched "Channel Japan" with her.
I remember I feed her with risoles in the same morning.

I can still remember very well her image sitting on the wheelchair.
I can still remember the feel and the look of her face when she's dying.

Ya Allah...
I still feel it. Deep inside I still asking it...

"Did I kill her?"

I wonder do any of my siblings still having the same feeling?

What 3rd brother's feel when he moved to Mom's room?
When we cleaned it, he said he can still smell Mom's scent.
Sister said that it felt really quiet now.
1st and 2nd brother are thinking about us (I think?)

It really feel strange without Mom around.
I feel there's no connection between us.
There's no one that unite us.

Mom was the reason for 1st and 2nd brother to visiting the house.
Now, they don't have the strong reason any longer.

Once Mom said that we will be in trouble when she's gone.
Is this it?

Been thinking and dreaming about Mom.
Even this morning, I was awaken by her inside my dream...

title - The Ghost of Ichi (Sengoku Basara OST)

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