Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy new year!

It's been a great year.
With ups and down. Happiness and tears.
Finding new things. Learning new things. Meeting new people. Exploring new sounds.

Thank you for keep being with me (bowing).

Will be hoping for another exciting and great year with everyone.

Happy new year~~~
May Allah bless us all!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

My voices: slideshow video


Made this one a long time ago and... *burst into laugh*

The music is from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children: Cloud's Smile.
Really...seriously... *burst into laugh*

Monday, December 24, 2012

For Deadly Violinist.


Hurray!! I manage to do it!

I've done a translation in Bahasa about SUGIZO's interview with MJPlus.

I'm so happy~~~
I'm honored to done the translation.
A bit worried too since some content was quite difficult to translate >_<

The interview discuss about SUGIZO's music, inspirations, and his many many works.
He's indeed an awesome artist! So talented, so inspiring!

I feel deeply touched when I read the English version.
And it's a hard task to make the same feeling for Bahasa's version.
I hope I've done it pretty good.

How about it people?
Have I done it well? :D

Friday, December 21, 2012

"Lion Heart"

The prove of Maonyan's tenderness (>w<)

He's a gentle soul!

Love it when he do the shake hands.
He will look straight to the eyes, smile, and hold tight the hands.

And this one... >w< 
Maonyan!! You are really kind!! >w< 

title - vistlip's song. 
pictures - SID d'Lovers & Mao's blog. 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

JpopAsia Music Awards 2012 - my vote

JpopAsia has make their 2012 music awards. Time to vote is until December 24th, 2012.
But, I can only vote once for one day and for one category.
I can't vote for all category at once?
I've vote for Favorite artist/band and New artist/band 2012.
Hope I still have enough time to vote for the rest.
Doubt it though.

Anyway... If I manage to vote all, this is my vote and the reason.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Order (has been) Made

Friend: "You seem having lots of money" 
Me: "That's not true. I've been waiting for it. I have save money"'s the end year shopping for me.

Satsuki's 1st full album, Luminous.
vistlip's mini album. Gloster.

Next year will be a completely a different year for me. It will really be a new year.
My life will change.
I can't shop crazily anymore.
I have to choose.

Well, I already have.
It will be L'Arc~en~Ciel, vistlip, and manga.

Deep sorry for my other voices.
But, I have to make choices.
And I also have made a promise, to support the Five Barkin' Animals in anyway that I can.

Heaven's Door.

Be very careful with what your wishing.
Because Heaven would hear you and make the wish become true in a very odd way.

I once wish that I could have more times to rest.
I was feeling damn tired.
With the life, the works, the people.
Look what I get?

Mom passed away.

It's not the first time happening.

Once I asked for some signs to help me decide either I would go watch Luna Sea's concert in Singapore or not.
In the sudden, Mom got sick.
There's no way I could have fun in a concert when Mom was sick.
Bros and Sister would scold me. Mom would also cursed me.
It's not a decent thing to do :D

So just be careful with what you are wishing for. You won't ever know what you would get.
It's fine if you get a fortune. But if not?
Just be careful, okay? :D

Sunday, December 09, 2012

7 Days

Today is the 7th days of the passing away of my mom.

Mom died on December 2nd, 2012.
I've found her lying on the bed, not breathing.
We've put on oxygen mask to save her life.
It's useless.

Until now, I can still remember the feel of her skin when I tried to wake her up.

"Don't be joking!" I've said.

I can still remember her image who's sitting on the bed.

"We're killing her softly" said 3rd brother when we took Mom home from the hospital.

Mom spend 10 days in the hospital without showing positive progress. She spend 2 weeks at home before she passed away. 1st brother said she probably had an heart attack.


That's the word I've been thinking.

If only I didn't took her home.
If only I checked on her earlier.
She might still be living now.

"How can we don't know she's not breathing?" asked Sister when she tried to pumped Mom's heart.

I stunned.

I felt that I was the one who killed her.
I was the one who let her died.
I'm hoping that when Mom said, "it hurts", she doesn't mean when the grim reaper took her life.
I hope she meant her sickness. I hope the pain from her body covered the pain when she's battling for life.  

I can really remember it clear, the look of her face and the feel of her slightly breathe on my fingers.

Mom, I'm sorry.
I know our relationship was fill with love and hate.
I'm not and won't ever be your favorite children.
You also aren't the greatest mother in the world.
But, you were my mom. That's it.

Rest in peace.
Told Dad that I said hello.
And Dad, please show Mom the way around, okay?
Be good you two.
Mata ne.

Friday, December 07, 2012


I know that I'm so bless.
Allah has bless me with kind people around me. People who would help me, taking care of me, and protect me.
They are my precious little family.
For them, I want to do my best, to be my best. I hope I can really do it. I will try to do it. Ganbarimasu!
Thank you, mina-san. We're on the same boat. We're on this together. For the good and bad, we will stick together. Let's fight together!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Moon Stream's new look

3rd post of the day XD

It's Moon Stream's new look!

My reaction when seeing the picture...


Seriously...with mouth open widely. 

They look stunning and dazzling!! 
Though I think they are switching their style. 
Sacchan becomes manly while Tomo becomes girly XD 

But, I like it! 
Hope they would release a song or a single or directly an album. 
I guess Moon Stream is a joint work only for live show event? 
Please enlighten me about this, Sacchan? :D 

Also, there's a review of someone that has gone to one of their show in LA. 
She's so lucky~~ and her sister too! Being patted by Sacchan!! He is really an angel! 
Sacchan, Tomo, Moon Stream, are really and indeed nice person. No faking! They are really kind from the heart! 

umi-nii's style for Gloster

This is umi-nii's style for the up coming mini album, Gloster.
Isn't he looking cool (and scary)?



It's kinda too late to post it here.
I already post it on my another world though (XP)

So, I finally can have a dream with umi-nii in it.
It happened after I've sorted some of his single pictures into one folder.

I don't quite remember the story of the dream.
All I can remember was umi-nii and I were sitting together on the floor.
He holds his two legs, wearing his usual knitted hat, jacket, looking at me and...


*dropped dead*

umi-nii smiles in my dream!!!!

Yeah, I know it's only a dream.
But after all this time, I finally have a dream about him!

Maybe I was also influenced by Tohya's blog post on November 23rd.
The question was still open, who's the guy in the picture?
Is it umi-nii or one of Dauto's member?

I was feeling sure it's umi-nii.
Waiting for Tohya to make a revealing post.


I'm happy with the short dream!!!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Smiley Skeleton

This morning I woke up late. I oversleep for one hour!
And when I took quick bath, I remember my dream last night.
I was dreaming about...Kirito, Angelo no vocal.
Can't I have another scary looking guy (umi-nii) inside my dream? XD


I was in some kind of music J-Rock Evolution.
I was standing in line.
There were four lines. One line for one band.
I was in VAMPS line with Ni-chan.
I looked at the line beside me. It was empty. The line was for Angelo.
So I decide to move to that line (leaving Ni-chan on VAMP'S line XD)
I remember I forget to bring Angelo's album.
But then somehow I manage to get it to the show.

I exchange my ticket and hurried to my seat.
I keep saying, "Kirito~~ Kirito~~ Kirito~~". Followed by a girl sitting next to me. She has a short boyish hair and looked excited.

The show started and Angelo performed MOMENT.

After the show, I went back and accidentally caught up Kirito who's disguising as a... parking attendant! (XDDD)
He's doing foolish act to hide his identity. He tries to hide behind the bushes. But I knew it's him (XDD)

Me: Can I have your autograph? I know it's you *looking for the CD's booklet and a board-maker*
Kirito (wearing a black hat): Where do you want me to sign it? *looking for his board-maker*
Me: Here on your picture *flipping the booklet's pages*
Kirito: On the picture? *waiting*
Me: I know there's your picture...where is it...there's that goofy picture instead... *keep looking for Kirito's single picture* 


Sister-in-law: *calling my name from downstairs* 
Me: I'M LATE!!!!!!

end of the dream.

I guess I'm badly wanting for MOMENT to be include in Angelo's newest album RETINA. That's why I'm having the dream (X3). But at least I get him to be smiling and doing so sweet inside the dream (X3)

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Many things happen lately.
I'd like to write it down but don't know from where to begin. be honest...I don't want to remember it again.
It's a tough days. And it isn't stopping there.
There are still tough days to face ahead.

What I should call it?


All I know that my life won't ever be the same again.
I can't have the life only for and about me.
Am I being selfish?

I think not.

I know and realize my responsibilities though I don't want to have it.
Different with that person who's selfishly saying that what ever happen, life must go on. She meant her life of course.

I'm tired of arguing.
She can do whatever she likes as long as it don't trouble me.

I hope after this and on, I can post happier things.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Wherever you are

I know...I bless I am to have beautiful and kind friends.
Thank you all for comforting my heart.
I'm so bless and grateful to have each and every one of you.
You are my precious treasure.
My angels.

Wherever you are, you always make me smile.
Wherever you are, you always by my side.
Wherever you are, you never make me cry
Wherever you are, you never say goodbye
Whatever you say, you're always on mind.

Someone I can love from my heart. 
Someone I love from my heart.
In the center of my love, you, my heart, are there. 

Thank you so much my friends.
I love you. Always. Forever.

*Lyrics is from Wherever You Are - ONE OK ROCK. Hope Taka-san won't mind I've changed the words a bit (^^)

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


Finally! It arrives! ^O^

Details later~~

When I'm obsessed, I can be VERY obsessed!!

But, after this everything will be back to the promise. I promise!!

Friday, November 09, 2012


"This is my own pain. I won't share it with anyone."

I put the above line as one dialogue inside the story I've wrote. 
I intend to make it to sounds cool. It comes out from someone that have been badly hurt by his surroundings and refused to get help. Because he's been too long being alone with the pain, suffering, and betrayal. 

The character was quite strong, though he acted cold to people around him, but he has some people that really care for him. It's because he's been too long with the suffering that he can't easily trusted people.  

Anyway, when I put the same line into my own becomes pathetic.  

The words describe how I pretty much alone, with many things, many problems, pain, and tears. 
Sometimes I'm thinking of giving up. I feel so tired. I've been listening to people, but who would do the same for me? 

Not that I'm complaining, since I do rarely talked about my problems with anyone. Long time ago a friend has betray me, by telling my story to other people. Since then I kept my mouth closely tight. Even my own family doesn't know what I've been facing either feeling. 

One friend once said, "It's lucky to be you. You seem don't have any problem." 

That's because I don't go around telling about my problems. 

Once I tried to talk with sister. I was really feeling down. I need help. I need someone to comfort me, telling that I can make it and everything will be okay. But, she doesn't want to listen. She ignored me. Later on she said she's sorry because she's confused to give advice since she wasn't sure it will do me a favor. If that so, at least she can shown better attitude than pretending to fall asleep. I was hurt with her attitude. She always talked to me about everything, even when I showed that I'm not interested, she just keep talking. I never share anything again with her. 

Then lately I was really really tired, mostly with works. I haven't get proper rest. I was still working when I reached home, I was still working on weekend, even I dream about my work! >.< 

Back pain, head ache, ears ache, neck pain...I've suffered it all. 

As if it isn't enough, trouble happened at home. Sister get a fight with 3rd brother, and she asked me to be her message board to him. 


"He listens to you. While with me, he'll just get tempered"


I'm the one who should be careless, then why I have to be the one that cares the most? 

One night...after I finished doing Isya prayer...I sat down and dropped a tear. I almost cried. This Polar Bear really still have a heart. I felt a bit better after it. I was still feeling restless and don't know what to do with all of my problems, but at least I don't have the thinking to stop everything any longer. At least not for now. 

As time goes by, I started to accept the pain, the problems, the loneliness, all just by myself. I know there will be times when I will have the feeling to end it all again. I hope that time I will still able to get through it. 

"Living alone isn't as bad as feeling alone" <-- div="div" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" new="new" quote.="quote.">

- KiRaidesu - 

p.s. alo[n]e is the title of one of #vistlip's songs. 

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Polar Bear's Heart

I thought the hatred has rotten deep. It hasn't.
Especially when I see her helpless.

A friend who said she hates her father and wanted to kill him.
A friends who said she hates her parents and wanted to abandon them.

Will they still feel the same when the father, the parents are being helpless.

I guess not.
Maybe they won't change the feeling because the damage they have suffer was too big.
I realize I didn't suffer that bad.

This Polar Bear heart has been touched. A little.

Friday, November 02, 2012

Picture of the day: milk&macaron

Another of my childish taste of art.
The title is milk&macaron.
I took the title from one of vistlip's song in Order Made album.
Well the drawing is made based on the feeling when I listen to the song.

Every time I listen to "milk&macaron", I always seeing the image of a couple walking hand in hand under the falling snow on Christmas's eve. The girl smiles happily while the man smiling shyly. They walk together among crowd of people. with shining lights from buildings around them. Sweet and warm.

But, how come the drawing I've made is very different from that image?

My drawing feels if the couple are running away from something..or they are just having a fight  (look at how the man in red pulling the hand of the girl's in blue). So very different with the sweet and warm image I've get from the song. (orz).

And I realize it now...just like I love to see people's back...I also love to draw people from the back. It's easier (XP). 

- KiRaidesu - 


Thursday, November 01, 2012

Me vs Headphones

Several weeks ago, I felt terrible aching on both ears. It happens every time I use headphones/earphones. I thought it's because the headphone's sponges are starting to get thin. My choices were buying a new headphones or change the sponges.

I've done both but the aching still happen. It even get worst.
I started to feel burn inside both ears.
And the pain get worst when I use headphones. I get bad head ache.
I know something is wrong with my ears.
I decided to see the doctor with having worries I can't use headphones any longer.

I went to the doctor. He asked the symptoms.

"I feel my ears are aching, as if it's fill with something and also it feels burning"

The doctor checked my ears with some kind of device. It felt hurt when he puts it in.

"It's fine. Nothing wrong." 

The doctor wrote medicine description.

"So, what's wrong with me?"
"Nothing. You're fine. Just don't clean it too often"

What...? That's the same thing he told me at the last time we met, and that was three years ago!! Is the doctor really serious with his words??

He gave me medicine and an ear lotion.

"Come back if you still feel the pain, and don't when you don't feel it," 

Are you kidding me, doc? Of course I will come back if I still feel the pain, but not to you! I will look for more capable doctor!

I didn't told the doctor that I've been using headphones for almost 24/7. I use it everywhere I go: to office, while on the street, on the bus, on the public car, at home, even while I wash dishes (XD). It's because I don't like to listen to people's dirty words. I often said that I'd rather hurt my ears with listening to music than to hear the dirty words...

Well, maybe it's also my fault for not telling the whole thing of what causing the ache. I was afraid I would might be forbidden to use headphones. Maybe that's why the doctor can't have full diagnose of my pain...

Even so, I decided to won't use headphones for a while. I took the medicine and the ear's lotion. But it doesn't get better...
It's almost two weeks I haven't use headphones, and every time I'm thinking to use it to listen to music, my ears start to get ache. Even when I heard the word of "music", the ache quickly come! What the hell happen with my ears??

Now, I feel scared to use headphones...I'm scared of the really hurts...
But the best way to listen to music is by headphones.
How can I fully enjoy music when I feel afraid using headphones...

I surely need to see another doctor and this time told the whole cause...
I just hope the result won't be a forbidden for me to use headphones...
I hope so...

- KiRaidesu -

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

My Ghostly Story: Hana-chan.

Since it's Halloween I want to share one of my experience ghost story.
It has happened a long time ago, during my college.
Here's the story.


Me and some friends are going to near by internet cafe around the campus. The cafe is located quite hiding out. It's not the first time we're going there.

When we enter the cafe, the place is already full. We can't get places that close to each other. We get separated. I get the one in the back. I see across my place is an empty cubicle, no computer, no chair, no table, just an empty cubicle. I talk to myself,

"If it's in a horror movie, something might appear there" *giggles*

I start to browsing the net. Several minutes later, my eyes caught a glance of something standing by close to me. I turn to look and see no one there. I turn back to the monitor, and again "it" appears. I slightly take a look at "it". It's a little girl. Her appearance is so dark like a shadow, so I can't clearly see her face. To be short she quite resembles of Hanako, one of Japanese's ghost.

I don't feel comfortable with Hana-chan's standing and looking at me. I decide to end my session and quickly to one of my friend. My friend is surprise that I finish so quickly. I told her that I feel bored. I didn't tell the true reason, and I eventually forget Hana-chan.

Days later ...

1st brother along with his wife and little daughter were spending nights on his in law house. So his room which lies beside mine has been empty. I always like the room. It has a chill air and always feel cold. Maybe because it's located near the fish pond?

So one night I slept at 1st brother's room. I sleep so well until I feel someone shakes my bed. As if to wake me up. I thought it's 3rd bro who teasing me. I ignore the shake. It keeps happening, and I keep ignoring it. Then someone get a grip on my ankle and shake it. I toss it away but the grip didn't want to let go. I feel upset and wake up,

"What the hell do you want..."

I see it ... her ... Hana-chan ... holding my ankle. She's still all black just like the first time I saw her.
I froze for a moment. I slowly toss the grip, it let's go (!), get up and walk out from the room. 2nd bro who's watching TV felt surprised to see me woke up.

"What happen? Are you feeling hot?" 

I look at the time. It's midnight.
I enter my room where mother was sleeping and continue my sleep there with holding mother's hand.


Another day, I've come back from campus and enter my room. It's dark so I turn on the light. A dark shadow quickly fly away from my sight. I stunned. Is it Hana-chan again?

Since then Hana-chan doesn't show up. Another one show up instead, adult version. It's often happen, but that's another story to tell.

Happy Halloween!
Trick or Treat?

I choose treat! (X3)

- KiRaidesu -

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Indian GP: Depressing!

Watching Indian GP today.
Kimi started from P7.

The start of the race was quite thrilling. Of course my eyes never went away from Kimi.
He pushes hard, trying to squeeze through to the front.
He stayed 7th till the end of the race.

After the race, I can feel how depressing it is to drive behind someone else car!
I bet Kimi was feeling the same.
Can't pass. Can't overtake.
Can only drive along from the back.
It's depressing!!

Hope the next one will be  better for Kimi.
Hope he can have a fun and exciting race.
Hope he can get better result.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Look "below" and not UP

Her: "I envy with people who don't have a father. I hate my father" 
Me: "Go and say that to my little niece that had lost her father when she's 6 years old" 


Her: "Maybe it's lucky to be like you. Living only with your mother. Mothers are always more enjoy to live with" 
Me: "You don't know what you are saying"


Seriously, someone need to knock that brat's head!

If she really hate her father...if she really want to kill her father...just do it!
Don't bug me every single morning with the same moaning!


"I hate him."
"I want to kill him."
"How can my mother be so stupid to marry him?"
"I don't have respect on him"
"I haven't speak with him for years" 


So? Why the hell I should care?
She can hate and kill her father. I won't care.
She doesn't speak to her father. What that got to do with me?
Is she looking for a sympathy?



Her: "It's lucky to be like you. You don't have any problem,"
Me: "You can say that because you're having a problem. Try to look at other people's condition when you aren't having it. You'll feel lucky." *holding the desire to kill her*


Yeah, I often get the same words.
People said it's nice to be me, don't have a problem, don't have debt, etc.

I seem don't have a problem because I'm not a cry baby who talk about it every time it happens.
I seem don't have any debt because I don't bragging what I've been using my money for.

Really, don't look at other people's life while you're having your own problem. You would feel unsatisfied with life, envy, and upset.
Other people's life aren't always as good as you think, or as smooth either as easy as you think.
You're seeing it that way because you can't handle your own problem. You're feeling sorry for yourself by comparing your misfortune with others luck. So people who listen would give sympathy and think you are indeed the misfortune person in the galaxy. I Pity you.

Then, have you think it this way?

That you are quite lucky than the poor who even don't know what they are going to eat, or can they eat?
Those people are struggling everyday to live, while you're complaining about how to kill your father? How many works you should do? How tired you are?

There's a wise words saying,

"Don't look at people above you, but look at those below you."

It means, don't look at rich people or those who are seem so easy living their live. You will always feel unsatisfied. But look at people below you, the poor. Who are struggling everyday, and can't enjoy even the slightest luxury you might having everyday. Then you will feel lucky.

Don't compare your life with other people. Your life is yours. Their life is theirs. Just live it!

I hope someone would knock that brat sense's soon. I can't stand keep being like now.


Her: "Yay! I succeed to make you upset."


So, you want to see me upset? Okay. YOU WILL HAVE IT BRAT!! 

Satsuki's 1st Album: Luminous

TABOO is dead. It won't go on.

Came home late last night after round and round with Jhutex.

Get annoyed this morning by that brat.

Need to buy new flash disk.

Great day. What's next?


A ray of light flashing in...the angel has come...

LUMINOUS. Satsuki's 1st full album. Will going to be release on January 9th, 2013.


The preview of the album is here.

In the album, Satsuki includes Sympathy, Romance, FATE, and... Inside!!
I didn't know he plays the piano in the song! (*O*).
I really really love Inside. I'm very happy Satsuki has include it for the album. Arigatou!!

Can't wait for the release. Can't wait to see the new video. Why it has to be in January? Why not next month?

As if I don't have list of things I have to get... *scroll up*

But, I've said that if Satsuki shall release his first full album, then I will be surely going to get it! I've promise it!! So I will keep my promise! I can't wait to have the angel's voice sounding in my house! (^O^).

Thank you for the happiness, Sacchan! Thank you! You are really an angel!

Sacchan's new look reminds me of Rentrer en Soi's old times! 
Beautiful angel!! 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Happy Birthday Maonyan!

I always remember one quote from Maonyan (SHIDO no vocal).

"If you think "this is tough", even once halfway, you'll lose. Clear your heart and keep thinking of happy things"

I always remember the words every time I feel distress with my works.

Will I able to do it?
Will I make it?
Will everything goes well?

With his words, Maonyan snaps me and said,

"Just do it and don't think too much!" 

Arigatou, Maonyan :)

Maonyan is someone that truly care and think deeply about others. He always give encouraging words.

"Let's do our best today"
"People on the way, students at school, let's do our best" 

Those were some of his words that I remember.
And somehow, just by that words, it gave me strength, courage, and confidence.
Everything will be okay as long as I've tried and work hard.  
That's what I learn from him.
Haven't been doing it *smacked* but the words keep encourage me.

Maonyan also teaches the value of hard work. The work he's been doing until he get to be known just like now. Awesome!

Maonyan also easily feel lonely. I don't understand why.
For someone who cares so much for other people, and also have receive back many many love, why he feel alone?

Then today is there to show how he's being love by many people. So he won't feel alone anymore.

Happy birthday Maonyan~~
May you always live happily and healthy.
Don't go on diet for any longer. You already looking fine at the moment. (^^)

Monday, October 22, 2012


Please, tell me how to help you.
Please, tell me how to convince you that I will always be around?
Please, tell me how to say that I won't gonna leave you?
Please, tell me how to show that I won't ever get bored of you?
Please, tell me how to make you believe my words are true?

I've said that I would be your trash can.
You can share anything with me.
You can shout at me if it will make you better.
I was around back then, and I will always still be around.

I know words are easier to say than to do.
So, please let me show it.
Please...tell me how?

Friday, October 19, 2012

[Lyric] Rest in Peace and Fly Away

Rest in Peace and Fly Away
SUGIZO feat Bice


Cry soshite mezamete Fly away

Kimi o ushinatte toki wa kooritsuita mama de
Kizu o motometemo doku ni mamiretemo
Dakedo ima wa

(Sukoshi dake) Kima ga michibiitekureta
(Sukoshi dake) Michi ga mieru


Douka koe o omoidashite
Itsuka utagoe o kikasete ne
Boku wa mou daijoubu dakara
Nido to tojinaide zutto aruiteku kara
Cry soshite mezamete Fly Away

(Sukoshi dake) Kimi to hanarete ikiteku
(Sukoshi dake) Yuuki ga mieru


Douka tsumi o furihodoite
Itsuka itami mo yurushiteagete ne 
Boku wa mou daijoubu dakara
Nido to tojinaide zutto aruiteyuku kara

Tooku hanaretemo zutto aishiteiru yo
Itsuka futari mou ichidou deaeru kara

Fly soshite mezamete Fly Away
Futari no mirai soshite habataite Fly Away 

English translation: 

Cry, and awaken Fly Away

I missed you, as if time were frozen
Withing for wounds, even for poisons
but now

(Just a little) You showed me the way
(Just a little) I can see the path


Please remember my voice

Someday listen to my singing, okay?
Because I'm alright now
Don't shut me out twice because we're always walking
Cry, and awaken Fly Away

(Just a little) I can live apart from you
(Just a little) I can see courage


Please abandon my sins
Someday, give me forgiveness for the pain
Because I'm alright now
Don't shut me twice because we're always walking on

Even if we part far away, I'll still always love you
Because someday we'll meet once more

Fly, and awaken Fly Away
It's our future, so flap your wings and Fly Away

Source: here


It's another version of the song with the same title from the album, "SOUNDTRACK". Quite different with the original, this version is more cheerful. 

Though at first I don't know the meaning of the words, but I can feel the positive feeling within the music. Especially when it play at the end of the movie. The words above really describe what happen next for Sion and the other Misa. 

I can't say more...just...Beautiful. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Happy Birthday Dearest One

Dearest one.
Greatest one.
Only one.
The best one.

Kimi Raikkonen.


May you'll have a long, happy, and prosperous live.
May you always be healthy.
May you always stay the way you are.

Thank you.

Thank you for always being the true you.
Thank you for being an inspirations.
Thank you for the thoughts and the acts that makes you unique.
Maybe you don't feel you've done something incredible, that you only do what you want to do.

"I'm just being me."

You may think it's not a big deal.
That's what make you great.

You are very honest. With your own feeling, with everything.
Sometimes you are also arrogant and do stupid act. Still I love you.
You never hate people, even after people hurt you.
You never talk about people's bad, though they always looking for your's bad.
You never blame people. even though they blame on you.
You are so kind.

You are so strong.
Always walk on the path you've choose.
Never give a mind about what people said about you.
You always keep your head held high, walking straight forward to what you want to achieve.

I always wonder and really want to ask it someday when I can meet you,

"Please tell me how you can be that strong?"

Happy birthday My world. My shining sun. My air to breathe. My light. My everything.
I always love you. Forever. And ever.
The pledge I've once made to you, will always be yours. Eternally.

"Will always be with you, through the good and the bad."

Wherever you go, whatever you choose to do, will always follow and support you fully.

"Someone I can love from my heart. Someone I love from my heart. In the center of my love, you, my heart, are there."

Special place, for a very special person.

May Allah always bless you.
I love you.

Monday, October 15, 2012


Friday afternoon, after having a meeting, I decided to went round and round inside the mall. My destinations were stores. Maybe I would get J-Rock's imported CD or DVD.
But, it's a wishy washy...didn't found any J-Rock's CD or DVD. Even, the music stores were less visitors! I was the only one there!! (O_O).

A long time ago, music stores were still having lots of visitors. I even come to visit every once a week. It felt so nice to walk between the albums.

I realize things have changed when online shops started to grow.
People rarely go to music stores because now they can make an online order.

And with the technology development aka downloading...people can't get music without buying it...

But, even until now, my favorite destinations when I walk around are the music stores and book stores. At the music stores, I might accidentally find good things, such as nice headphones or rare Japanese album like these below (X3).

Luna Sea's cassette: Lunacy (red one) and Period (white one).


X Japan Best Fan Selections (2 cassette).

Though it's still in an old form, but until now, it still my valuable collections (X3)

Hoping to accidentally found many other rare Japanese album (X3)

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Picture of the day: LUNA SEA

I just realize it now...
I didn't notice it when I first saw it.
I was too excited with the news about their 2013 Asia Tour, that I didn't realize there's something with the picture below...

Can anyone see it?

SUGIZO is holding a cane (!).

It's the injury he had before his last live....
He's forcing himself to work....

I hope his injury will fully heal before the start of their tour.
Don't want to see him in pain... (TwT)

SUGIZO-san, heal soon. Eat well. Rest well.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Luna Sea: to the new moon

Finally it has been confirmed today.

Luna Sea will have a live in Singapore, February 8th, 2013.

Full article here (Indonesian only).

The last stop...
Why it had to be the last stop?

I'm hoping they would put Jakarta on the list. Just like L'Arc~en~Ciel did.

A friend is making plan to watch the live in Singapore. She said to pursuit our dreams, we have to risk everything. She wants to see Inoran. While I want to see SUGIZO.

Ryu-chan suggest me to talk with Diana-chan or her sister about it. Big chances that Ryu-chan's sister will go to Singapore for the live.

Should I go too?

I didn't catch L'Arc~en~Ciel in Singapore. Then again, the rainbow had a live in Jakarta, so I don't see the need to go to Singapore.

But, it's small chance now that Luna Sea would have a live in Jakarta. Especially when they already stated. "the last stop".

Maybe I'll just wait for further information? Maybe somehow they would add Jakarta on the list?
or maybe I just wait for X Japan to come? Big chance for the legend to come since Yoshiki once said he's interested to come. But, I'd choose to see SUGIZO with Luna Sea. I'm more familiar with Luna Sea's songs.

Argh!!!! *pulling hair*

I'm confused!
Honey, tasukete!!

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Today: restless

Head feels so dizzy and instead of continue working, I made this post instead. Good job! *smacked by Boss*

What a restless day.

This morning being bother daily moans from a childish brat.

Then continue with announcement from Luna Sea that they have start recording for a new album. It's for next year. And they will release new single in this year December.

Also tomorrow, the band is also supposed to announced their World Tour schedule, and one of it is... Singapore!


After being obsessed with SUGIZO, listening to Luna Sea all over again, hoping they would work on new songs...I get answers for all of my thinking. Awesome!

I really really hope they would have a live in Indonesia.
The thinking of going abroad to watch a live isn't going to get approval by honey (read: Kimi) *smacked*

Sugi-chan, I really really want to see the live.
I want to see you play the guitar and violin. Wanna see your goofy act, and also your sweet sweet interaction with Ryuichi! (>//////////<)

So...please come to Indonesia! PLEASE!!

(review) BUNRAKU

The only reason I’m watching the movie is because of Gacchan aka Gackt!! And after doubting the movie would get to local movie theater, finally it came! Bunraku can be watch in local movie theater! Hurray!

Actually I’ve watched the movie on Ni-chan’s DVD, but I just can’t help it to watch it in properly big screen with decent English translations (^^)

I watched the movie after the J-Melo Fan Meeting. I took the risk to watch it alone in the night. But, it’s Gackt in local cinemas! There’s no way I would pass it by!!

The story is about a certain city rule by someone with the name, “Woodcutter”. Woodcutter rules the city with his ten killers and a numbers of “red army”. This Red Army often scares and took advantage from the town people. That’s when Yoshi (Gackt) appeared. Yoshi came to the city to look for his ancestor’s missing medallion. He visited his uncle restaurant and get into a fight with the Red Army.

At the same time, a strange cowboy (Josh Harnet) also came to the city in pursuit for the Woodcutter (his intention is reveal at the end of the movie). Yoshi and the Cowboy met in a bar whose bartender likes to make a paper book doll. At first Yoshi and the Cowboy were fighting each other, but as they see each other power, they start to work together. Their target is the same, the medallion that Yoshi been looking for was indeed on Woodcutter’s hands.

Friday, October 05, 2012

Thursday, October 04, 2012

My (music) Bad Habit.

It's bad habit.

I always look or listen to something else when any of fandom I'm following start to get crowded.
I'd choose to get myself away from the excitements that happens.


When L'Arc~en~Ciel fandom is being rushy, I move to another, take example SID.
Then when SID's fandom is also getting rushy, I look at another: Acid Black Cherry.
And on...

So the bands I've been following now is none the less are because of my music bad habit (XD)

The currently that result from it is... SUGIZO.

But, from what fandom I'm getting away? That is...a secret *smacked*

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Happy Birthday Banana!

Happy birthday to Tetsuya Ogawa, the super fantastic leader of L'Arc~en~Ciel.

The creator of the rainbow.
The captain of the ark.
The mother,  The watcher, The protector, The healthiest, and The Juiciest Banana in the whole universe!

For the most...


My one and only leader.

Thank you for everything you've done, with the band and with your solo works.
Thank you for bringing smile and cheerfulness.
Thank you for sharing your smile and energy.

Will always counting on you forever.
Will always support you forever.

Happy birthday, Leader.
May you'll always be healthy and happy. May you always be successful in everything you do. May all of your plans goes well!

Thank you so much dearest Leader! WASSHOI!!!

Tuesday, October 02, 2012


I hate it when I'm obsessed with something or someone. In that condition, I would only do certain act or look at certain person.

For now...I'm obsessed with... SUGIZO.

How come?

It started when several days ago he tweeted his injured ankle. I quickly get touched and started to listen his music (again). I do love his violin's play. He's so sexy when he played the instrument! I can get blush just watching him plays violin (>w<). I love his violin's play, but other than that...his music is difficult to listen...Techno and experimental music aren't the kind of music that easily accepted by my ears. And that's how SUGIZO's music sounds....

I like what SUGIZO's doing with The Spank Your Juice. He was really hilarious in "Super Love" video! He's dancing!! I like his voice there, it's so funny! It's my most favorite work of him. If I need entertainment that can make me smile, I will watched the video (XD).

My favorites so far are Super Love, Dear Life, No More Machineguns Play The Guitar (rocking sounds!!), and his music on Soundtrack's movie.

The last one was his movie. Yes... SUGIZO has played in at least two movies. He played the main role in Soundtrack, and became a cameo in somekind of mystery movie (forget the title, but Chiaki Kuriyama was on it too). SUGIZO is also played in an opera, "Bluebeard's castle" and has made the soundtrack. Aren't he awesome?  

I realize that SUGIZO is a very loving person, especially after the born of his daughter, Luna Artemis Sugihara. He really really love his daughter. He even made a beautiful song about her. He's a sweet J-Rock father!! I wonder Luna's feeling to have such cool, loving, and good looking father. I once saw a picture of grow up Luna and SUGIZO together. It's so sweet! Luna has the same face line with her father, a long and hard line. I bet whoever want to get close to Luna, will quickly lost confidence when they know or  meet her father (XD).

SUGIZO has admitted that he was a stupid one during his young times. And that has change after Luna was born. He started to give deep attention about the future, especially for Luna's future. So SUGIZO started to become more concern with the environment and political issues. He uses music to spread out the concerns and brought the awareness. He's like Bono from Japan (^^). And because of him, several times I've signed petition from Greenpeace. It's an ordinary petition that anyone can easily sign. But SUGIZO was the one who made me aware. He also had his profile put in Greenpeace's website page.

I can see the changes on him. From a goofy guitarist into a cool and mature musician. Now he has a serious and scary look, but his voice and gesture is still gentle (I'm surprised!). And his music also change. It becomes serious and complicated (which I hardly understand but keep listen it).

To be honest, it's quite difficult for me to listen to SUGIZO. And tt's not because of the music, but because every time I watch him, see his performance especially with Luna Sea, I can't help it to get annoyed.


Because SUGIZO is the member of a band that dearly love by the person I've lost...Ryu-chan.

I always remember about Ryu-chan when I listen to SUGIZO and Luna Sea. I become to remember how I've lost her. It makes me sad and completely annoyed. That's why I've stopped listening to SUGIZO and Luna Sea.

But, lately I feel I can finally get over the feeling, though there's still little remains.

SUGIZO's violin has saved me. His play is so beautiful that I've choose it to enter my heart and replace the annoyed feeling.

Just like what I've said a long time ago to Ryu-chan:

"Sugizo is a kind of man that too hot to get pass" 


I really want to told SUGIZO about how his music has saved my heart. But, I don't want to bother him with my cheesy I would only say thank you.

"Thank you so much for saving my heart, SUGIZO-san" 

Monday, October 01, 2012

J-Melo Fans Meeting in Jakarta

I have the honor to attend the J-Melo Fans Meeting on September 29th, 2012. I was invited by Dona-chan. She’s Ni-chan’s friend. I feel so grateful that Dona-chan is willing to asked me to go to the event. I quickly answered “of course!!” when Ni-chan asked whether I was still interested to go.

We took the train and continue with taking bajaj. I was quite worried that I might make us lost and won’t arrived at the event on time. It was my first time to go to the area. The same with Ni-chan and Dona-chan. But, thank’s God, we arrived safely and still have time to do Dzuhur prayer.

The front look of the cafe

After it, we get back to the café where the event was held. We saw some people started to do shooting. I took a picture of them. Then suddenly I was told not to take picture with flashlight because it would bother the shooting. Gomen~~~~

The yellow one was May J

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Versailles: Truth

Yesterday, September 26th, 2012, Versailles has release their last album before going on hiatus.
Few days before, they also have release their music video for Truth.
Fans were making their comment about the video and the songs in the album.

My opinion?

"I feel sad."

When I watch the video, either listening to the songs, I can't help myself not to feel sad. (though I do like Kamijo's hair style there).

In the video, all members look less spirit. I feel they aren't playing like the usual them. No spirit in the video. And from the words...though I don't know the meaning...I can sense Kamijo is saying goodbye. I feel they aren't going on hiatus, they are heading to another end...the worse end.

With the songs...I can't help it just to stay stun. I don't know what I must feel.
Happy because they're releasing new album?
I seriously can't listen to their songs, the new ones, the old ones, even seeing Kamijo's tweet kinda make me sad.

Is this what Ryu-chan's feel when Luna Sea announced their disband on 2000?
Is this what Yo-chan's feel when vidoll decided to disband?

I know that even it's happen, they are still around.
I mustn't feel sad.
But, they aren't going to be around the place where they used to be.
That's what make me sad...

I want them to still be around.

Even Master is looking sad...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


If anyone want to see me becoming a girl...just give Kimi to me *smacked*

So, out from no where, one of the local TV, Kompas TV, has decide to broadcast the Singapore GP. Not only that, they would also broadcast the race until the end of this year season.


My heart throbbed as I saw the commercial of the broadcast. I can't wait for Sunday to come. Sister, 3rd bro, nephew, and niece, everyone has witnessed how I turn crazy: giggling when Kimi's CLEAR commercial showing up on TV, pinching Sister when I saw the race commercial.

Days, hours, minutes, second, how I wish it will come pass quickly...

Finally the race day...I've waited in front of the TV. Hoping and praying that the rain outside won't cause blackout. I was impatient with the commentators of the show, "Just be quick and show me Kimi!!".

And the cars were already on the grid. I've look for Kimi. He's P12. I don't know where he is... (TwT).
The red lights were off. Race starts. Chaotic at the first turn, at the back of the grid...I keep looking for Kimi...where is he..? where is he...?


And I finally saw and gold car...white helmet... *move closer to the screen*


I kept watched him, chasing down Schumacher, hoping and praying he could overtake Schumacher. Round and round...pit car...up and down positions...I really enjoy everything! Though after the race Kimi said it was a boring race for he can't overtake...for me it's an exciting race! Of course because I can see him racing again...

Kimi was beeing shot very often by the camera, and I'm very grateful! I keep smiling looking at the screen. I couldn't hear any voice beside the one that come from the TV. Sister moaned how I was very focus at the TV. Then suddenly the electricity was off and this polar bear become outraged!


A good and fast response from nephew who quickly turn on the electricity.

I continue enjoy the show.

When the camera take a shot from above Kimi, I was almost in's been so long...I can be "driven" by him again...seeing what he see...feeling what he feel...fighting with him again....
I miss the way he moves the steering wheel, the way he pressing the buttons on it, the way his head moving, the way he drive...God...I really really miss it all....Kimi is the greatest driver in the world!

Kimi finished the race in 6th place. He gets helped from his team mate, that has give the way to him. For that I'll say, "thank you!".

Vettel won the race, but for me, the one that I see is...Kimi.

When Vettel came out from the car and cheering his victory...I was imagining Kimi.
When Vettel, Button, and Alonso were talking in the rest room...I was imagining Kimi.
When Vettel stands on the podium, smiling...I was imagining Kimi.
When Vettel spray the champagne...I was imagining Kimi.

I know...I day Kimi will be there...on the highest position...where he should be.
I hope it will be soon...I hope when Kimi stands there, I'm able to watch him.
I will be cheering him from a far...shouting to him...

"Welcome back to the highest place!"

Friday, September 21, 2012

Picture of the day: umi in FOOL'S MATE October 2012.


If I can I want to scream...

umi-nii without glasses!!!



The picture is from FOOL'S MATE October 2012 edition (magazine).
Credits to Tiffany@lj.

Without glasses, umi-nii is still looking scary. Thank God! (XD).

Once I had a joke with Yo-chan, saying that Kirito and umi are uncle and nephew because they are quite the same: have a scary look (XD).
But, umi-nii doesn't look scary without make up, different with Kirito who's still looking scary though he doesn't put on make up.

Kirito: "Of course, I'm the uncle"



There's an Indonesian old words.

"Sebaik apapun menyimpan mayat, bau busuknya pasti akan tercium"

Don't matter how I kept something as a secret, one day it will be found out sooner or later.

Last night TOBY was busted by 3rd bro.

3rd bro woke me up to asked something and he saw TOBY laying down beside me.
I try to ignore the thinking that he saw TOBY. But, TOBY was there, uncovered with anything. It's now way 3rd bro doesn't saw TOBY.


Who is TOBY?
or...what is TOBY?

TOBY is the name of my smartfren tab (XD).

1st bro gave it to me as a present. I don't know for what occasion he gave me the tab. He just said he want to pleased me. After all this time, bro? (that's another story to tell).

Anyway, 1st bro didn't mention it but from his body language, I know that he doesn't want anyone to know that he gave me the tab. I understand that and go along with the scenario. To be honest, I was feeling awful that he gave it to me, it's the little sister's privileges (^^). Family know that 1st bro would fulfill my wishes if he can. That's why family always ask me to talk to him whenever they have a special request.

"He always listen to you,"

I don't want to be cocky, but in several's true. 1st bro always fulfill what I wish for. Except for very expensive things like iPhone (because he wants it too) or very ridiculous request, such as Kimi.

That's why I objected his offer to bought me a tab. I don't need it. I prefer iPhone (rejected) or iPod (forget to ask this instead orz).
I've been using TOBY for twitter, Facebook, games, listening to music, watching MV, and quick blogging. Things that I can do with Nettie (my netbook).

Last week 3rd bro has been very suspicious of me having TOBY.

"I have many eyes you know," he said.

I didn't say anything. I only stand stood, trying to make up something else to talk.

"If he really give her a tab, I would scold him!" said Sister.

O...o...sorry 1st bro, you do know that sooner or later a secret will always be reveal, right?
But, since he's in Singapore now (probably), so family won't confront him...for now...wait until he came home... *hide under Kurai's shell*

Maybe now 3rd brother is talking about TOBY with Sister. And then the whole family will know. They will be saying "little sister's privilege" again. Damn, that's the line I don't want to hear...ever...

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Picture of the day: Kimi's back.

I don't know why, but I always LOVE looking at Kimi's back. It feels so strong and I just want to hug it tightly.
And for today's (lately to be precise), I love looking at this one.

It feels strong, warm, and comfort. I always smile looking at it. (X3).

Japanese Music Revival

On May 2nd, 2012, Jakarta has been a part of L'Arc~en~Ciel 20th Anniversary World Tour 2012.

Then on the early of September 2012, AFA was held.

On October 7th, 2012, Jakarta will also have JRock Evolution 2012 presenting MUCC, Alice Nine, and UNITE.

And October 10th, 2012, the Samurai Guitar aka Miyavi will have a show at Hard Rock Cafe to celebrate it's 20th Anniversary.

While in music stores, CD and DVD of L'Arc~en~Ciel has been release. Follow by DIVISION from The GazettE. Next one is albums from SCANDAL.

From the music promoter, they've been asking which Japanese band that local people would like to see. Big names are being mention by the fans: X Japan, Luna Sea, Glay, and many other bands. Marygops Studio has give a hint that they are on pursuit to make one of Japanese Rock band to have a live concert in 2013. Which band? No one knows. My guess, either X Japan or Luna Sea. Since both band has announce a world tour for next year.

That's why I can say it's Japanese Music Revival in Indonesia! YEAH!!!

I hope this situation would keep going. Though it maybe hard for the fans because they are being "robbed" all at once (XD).

I hope the promoter are serious about the intention to bringing Japanese band to have a live concert in Indonesia, I hope the promoter aren't only caring for money, but also the satisfaction of the fans. Hope they can make a blasting show for everyone to enjoy, both the artist and also the fans.

As for the music product, I'm hoping to see a lot more of it in music stores. I only see one or two CDs of L'Arc~en~Ciel and so far none for The GazettE. They said they are lacking in stock. Are you kidding me? Please don't underestimate Japanese music lovers. I will buy the album as soon as I seen one. Yes, I will buy Japanese music album that I'm interested with, beside of L'Arc~en~Ciel. I've been buying Glay, MUCC, The GazettE, Asian Kung Fu Generation, YUI, Utada Hikaru, X Japan, and Luna Sea's product when I saw it at stores. So...keep it in stock!!!!    

The rainbow is really something, right? After they come, many many artists are coming. I'm so happy~~~ The rainbow really give happiness wherever they go, whenever they show up. I love you all forever!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Close but far away...

I think I have made the same kind of post every year, when Kimi had a race in Singapore.

This weekend, Kimi will be having a race in Singapore. It's close from me, but stills far away.
I always get annoy every time the Singapore GP happen. I can feel Kimi so close, but I can't be where he is.
And what make me more depressed is...1st brother is going there...1st brother is going on a business trip...and he will spend a day watching F1 race...1st brother will watch Kimi racing...


1st bro: "I'll be leaving for Singapore on September 23rd and 24th"
Me: *shocked* "You're going to watch F1?"
1st bro: "Probably"
Me: O_O "THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
1st bro: *laughing*
Me: *stressed* "I don't care how you do it, bring Kimi with you!!!!"

I depressed.
1st bro will watch Kimi own brother...watching Kimi love... (TwT)
And now as days pass by, I'm getting depressed...
I hope 1st bro remember what I've told him to bring home.

Satomi-chan said that dreams do come true. And I should believe that someday I'll be seeing Kimi.
But I know for that, I must work hard. I must start a plan for it. I can't keep waiting him coming here. I have to pick him up by myself! (XD).

1st bro, please watch over Kimi. Please, watch him closely with your eyes and report what do you see when you get back. Kimi is my most precious one, so watch him closely.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

vistlip's look for October single release

As everyone might have know that on October 31st, 2012, vistlip is going to release their 10th single.
The name of the single is quite difficult to spell (XD).
The single will have 4 versions (!).
Gosh...4 versions...guys...I don't know what to say... (XD).

Anyway, to follow up the release, vistlip has reveal their new look for the October release. Check it out~~

Leader-sama's levitation

Levitation photography is taking a picture as if as you levitate or floating in the air.
I've been hearing about it and seen many incredible levitation pictures.
There's also a levitation community here in Indonesia and one of the known member is my Junior High class mate (XD).

But then...when I was downloading Leader's old songs *ups* I found out that he had done levitation photography long before it gets the public attention! Well, maybe it's been famous outside but not inside this country. So, I was surprised to see Leader has done it! That's my awesome, healthy, and juicy leader! (X3)

Medical Check (part 1)

Last week Saturday I finally had my medical check up.
I was quite excited and even I get up early just like when I was going for work.
I waited 3rd bro to get up. Sister called the doctor and make an appointment for me. They were caring for me too much (XP).

At the clinic, the doctor asked what symptoms did I had. I was confused since it's been so long that I don't feel the ache on my left side of chest. I was about to tell him that I came to check my heart. But then he might asked what for, so I decide to said the long symptoms to cut the long crap.

The doctor told his assistant to measure my weight and height. The result...overweight! What the...after I have reduce the portion of the food I've taken, I still overweight?? seemed to be true, that I can get fat only by drinking water...

Then the doctor asked me to lay down at the bed. His assistant checked my blood pressure. It seemed fine. Both of them don't say anything. The doctor told me to loosen up my inside wear. This is the time. Sister said that I would be half naked when the doctor examined my heart.

"Me: What?? What a pervert doctor!!!"

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


I never been thinking about death before.
But, when it might happen to people close to me...

My 2nd brother has been hospitalized since last week because of a light heart attack.
Few days before that, my mom was suspected to have an indication of coronary heart disease.
My dad died because of an heart attack.
It's an inherited disease (XD).
I never think that I might die because of the same disease.
I'm not feeling afraid if I do.
The sad feeling came to think that I might lost my family members.
Will I cry?

With that, I'm being told (with force) to have my heart checked.
I said I don't want to. Not because I'm afraid with the disease.
I know I'm having it since sometimes I feel ache on the left side of my heart.
So, I just don't want to spend my money for something that I already know.
Just let me start with the diet!
And for that...I get a smacked on the head.

Well, actually I'm also a bit curious about the condition of my heart.
I want to know how badly the damage is (^^)
Am I feeling scared? No.
In fact I feel excited (XD).
I would have my heart check this weekend.
Sister and 3rd brother has been very nosy telling me to do it.
Sister even has forbid me to eat egg regularly.
I love egg! And it makes me upset that I'm not allow to have it as many as I want to.
That's what mostly make me sad than the fact I'm having a heart disease...

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Wherever you are...Kimi.

I've just listen to the song and it's hard to keep me from not crying.

Wherever You Are  from ONE OK ROCK. 

The song is very touching. Some parts of the lyric make me remember of... Kimi.
Well, the whole lyric isn't suitable with the reality. But, there are some parts that make me almost cry.

"Someone I can love from my heart. Someone I love from my heart. In the center of my love, you, my heart, are there"

Source: here


That parts are very true.
Kimi is the only one that I can love from my heart.
Kimi is the only one that I deeply love with my heart and soul.
Kimi is the center of my heart. He will always be there, forever.

Believe it or not, that's the truth.
That's why, listening to the song make me like to cry a river...

Kimi, I love you so much. So bad. So deep. Always. Forever.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


This afternoon, while I was lazying around on my sister's bed, 3rd brother came by and said, "Tomorrow is summer, huh? Finally this bear wake up from her hibernation,"

Yeah, tomorrow is summer for this polar bear. That mean I have to go out from my cozy cave and start to look for food again (read: work).

But, actually this year hibernation isn't like last year. This year I was quite busy, I have lots of thing to do. I have to help around the house. My daily duty was washing the dishes, and because of it I suffer back ache. Am I exaggerating? Maybe, but the back ache really make me annoyed and for one day I couldn't stay away from bed.

I also brought work to home. On the day before Ied, I was working. The same happen on Ied day one and two. And I kept working since then. I haven't finish work 100 %, and still left few more works, but at least I've manage to finish the big one. As usual, I don't know whether I've done it right or not, but that's other problem to think about (^^).

I don't have much time to read manga, or to buy new one. I still able to read my collections though, so I guess it's enough to keep my battery charge.

One thing that I manage to finish is my project for Tomo's sister wedding gift. I've manage to finish it before the deadline. Feuh... I've asked 3rd bro to take a picture of me with the sign. But, the words were too small to read. So I quickly make a new one. I've to take a picture with the new sign by myself. But when I look at the result...the first one was better. I decide to send the first one. Hopefully Tomo, his sister, and her husband can read the words quite well (X3).

Yosh~~ Yosh~~ Tomorrow I will be back to work. I even can feel the stressed by now (XD). It will be though days. But, I will make it. I have to. I must. Ganbatte myself! Groarrrrr

Sunday, August 26, 2012

#republiktwitter (movie)

It’s an Indonesian movie title and I was accidentally watched it when I woke up from napping.

The story is about Sukmo who’s much known on twitter world. Sukmo’s tweets are quite inspiring for some people and one of them is Hanum. Sukmo lives in Yogyakarta and he decides to visit Jakarta for the holiday. He lives with Andre, his college friend, and meet Andre’s girlfriend, Nadya, a senior high student (who loves tweeting).

Sukmo’s main reason to visit Jakarta is because he wants to meet Hanum. But when the day to meet comes, Sukmo loses his courage seeing Hanum’s classy office appearances, also to see she’s with a good looking guy whose looking classy as well. Hanum feels kind upset because Sukmo cancel the meeting and thought that what her friend’s saying was true, “what’s good on the internet is not always good for reality”.

In the mean time, Andre starts to feel upset with Nadya’s behavior that always look at her cell phone. Andre upsets because Nadya seems more concern about her followers on twitter than to have a good time with him. Andre takes away Nadya’s cell phone, but then she threatening to break up if Andre doesn’t give the cell phone back.

While losing self confidence, Sukmo takes an offer to do a “PR” work. His main job is to make positive tweets to make one person get known and become trending topic on twitter. Sukmo succeed and the boss rewards him and his friends.

At the same time, Hanum facing trouble at her work place. Hanum always wanted to become an investigation reporter, but she feels she can’t do much at her current job and add with one co-worker that always take advantage of her hard work.

When Hanum and Sukmo finally meet, she’s disappointed with Sukmo who’s dressing up not in the way she’s expecting. Hanum thought that Sukmo would be as easy going as his tweets, and not dressing as classy as someone she knows. In the confusion of her future, her works, and the demands from her father for a better job, Sukmo comes to the rescue saying that he and some friends are making tweet false to make one person become famous. Sukmo says that Hanum can write a cover story about it. Hanum feels save and they become close.

Troubles come when the identity of the person is reveal, he’s Nadya’s father. Also, Hanum’s boss demands that the names involved in the case to be reveal on the article. Sukmo gets scolded by his friends and their work gets shut down. Sukmo feels disappointed with Hanum who had promise won’t reveal any name. Sukmo decides to go back to Yogyakarta and finish his thesis.

Soon after, Andre follows Sukmo to Yogyakarta and he also brings Hanum and Nadya who say that the entire problem had been settling. Her father was being used and doesn’t know anything about the tweets. While Hanum investigate further about the true suspect of the case and so clearing all the names. Sukmo’s friends even get to work with Nadya’s father. Sukmo and Hanum finally get back together.


Notes from me

I get impressed with Sukmo’s easy going attitude and wise words. He seems can comfort people with his actions and words. I really like seeing his friendship with Andre (^^).

I completely agree with Sukmo’s word saying that today’s generation is “generasi menunduk”. It means that they are always looking down at the cell phone, though Sukmo is also active on twitter. Do you ever notice that people on the street, on the train, on the bus, on the restaurant etc, they are always busy looking at their cell phone. They don’t talk with people they are being with. I do the same, and I feel sorry about it. It’s not supposed to be like that. People’s real relationship is with another people, not with some kind of device. Must put that on mind and change it.

I also laugh when Sukmo had a conversation with his boss about girl. His boss said that girls are like monkey, they won’t change branch to hold if the other branch isn’t looking strong to grip. The branch referring to man, and so man must be strong in every way (finance for sure) to make the girl (aka monkey) switching to him. I laugh because I found it’s quite suitable. I’m not like that of course since I’m not a monkey, I’m a polar bear and polar bear doesn’t switch branches (XD).

Sukmo says to Andre that he must understand Nadya’s behavior of more concern about her followers than her own boyfriend. Nadya is still teenager, and so Andre must understand her. Okay, that makes some point…a little…until when Andre have to be patience with Nadya’s childish behavior? If I was Andre, and Nadya threat to break up because I demand more attention from her than staring at the cell phone, I would answer, “FINE!” and leave (XD).     

I don’t like romance. Because love makes people do stupid things. Sukmo is in love with Hanum that he reveals what he’s been doing so Hanum can make a story for her job. Sukmo can’t believe that Hanum “betray” him. Are you stupid, mo? Well, between being stupid and honest is like a thin line…so yeah…maybe he’s on that thin line (XD). Anyway, that’s the storyline and I can’t demand much, can I? I remember one song from The Changsuters (Indonesian band), “girls are the world’s poison”, again…how very true that is (XD).

One typical plot is when Sukmo’s vespa broken and so he and Hanum had to walk back to Hanum’s home. Sukmo jokes asking a kiss from Hanum that quickly leave. But then Hanum gets back and kisses him. Suddenly the broken vespa fix by itself. What a typical of romance plot.

Overall, it’s quite a good movie. I enjoy it. I just don’t like the romance parts (XP). And hopefully also I can manage this tweeting addicted (XP).