Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Happy Ied Mubarak 1432 H

Happy Ied Mubarak 1432 H for all the moslem people in the whole wide world.
May Allah SWT always bless us. May all of our good deeds can be acceptable. May our sins can be forgiven. May we all can meet again in the next of Ramadan month. Amen :)

I haven't done my best (again) within this year of Ramadan. But, I would also say that I've improved something, though just a tiny bit :)
I can hold my desire better than last year. But, I still can't hold the feeling of anger, depressed, and jealousy. I also still moaning, demanding, lazying, and protesting, instead of being grateful to Allah SWT.

But, I do grateful. I'm grateful that I'm a moslem, though not also that quite strong ^^;
For me, Islam is the most beautiful religion in the world. It gives me peace and comfort. And I know that Allah SWT will always be there for me. I might neglect Allah sometimes, but I can't ever turn away.
And the view that mostly can touch my heart is the view of people doing the prayer together. It feels majestic :)

Anyway, I'll quit my babbling now.
Happy Ied Mubarak~~~~~ May Allah SWT bless us all :)

Just saying...

You may see what I'm doing was wrong, that I should not have react like this.
You can call me anything: dickhead, dumb ass, asshole, cold blood, etc. I don't care.
I don't give a damn.
I just don't want to pretend that there's no problem.
I don't want to smile when I don't feel to.
I don't want you to be happy by doing something I don't like.
You may kiss that bitch ass and I will keep being like now.

You may say that I'm not a children anymore, that I have to act more adult.
You're right. I'm not a children that can be seduced with money and gifts.
Do you think that will be enough?
It won't ever be enough for the things you've done in the past, for the trouble you've caused, for the hurt and pain you gave, and for the neglect you've done. 
I'm not a children so that's why I can think clearly.
I don't like when you pushing me around, wanting me to do what pleased you.
I  don't like you pretend, smiling, and acting as if you don't know what's the problem. Dumb ass!

They may forgive and accept what you're doing now.
But, I won't. I won't ever forgive you, especially after what you've done now... I won't ever forgive you.
You may keep hoping and they may become your support. I won't take any part.
You may do whatever you like, but keep off from me.
You don't have to worry or bother with me.
I still approve to breathe the same air with you, but I'm not giving a promise that you and the bitch won't become a thin air to my eyes.

Enjoy your day. And I will also enjoy mine.  

Sunday, August 28, 2011

E.M.P.T.Y = The Answer

I finally find the answer of the empty feeling.
Today, I've watched an interview of Oprah with J.K. Rowling. And the famous author has said it all for me.

"When you feeling sad, you can cry. But, not when you're feeling depressed. You would feel empty and hopeless."

And that's the answer, why I was feeling empty? It's because I was depressed!!
Yay! At least now I know what's happening to me XP

Angelo's new and complete look!

Here's the new and complete look of Angelo, with 5 members!!
I agree with the hope that they would be more visual. I do hope so! :)

They are looking great! Even so, I still feeling bit strange to see Angelo with 5 members. But, as a good fans, I would absolutely give them a chance :)

*picture's credits: Angelo's LJ Fan Base. 

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Angelo: 5 members

I was very surprised with the news I've read on twitter.
I quickly checked the LJ fan base and also a site that I regularly visit to get news about J-Rock's world.
And it's official... Angelo has sign in 2 new members!!!

They are: Kiryu (ex- D'espairsRay) and Giru (ex-Vidoll). Both will be the guitarist.
I feel sorry for the additional guitarist that has been working with Angelo for all this time....
Also it means impossible for the other ex-members of Pierrot to join the band. It's impossible for Pierrot's resurrection now...

And to be honest... I really know nothing about the new members. I've heard the name of the old bands though, both bands were just breaking up. The news about the breaking ups have shocked the fans. I bet the news of them joining Angelo would also give the same effect (^^).

Still I'm very anxious to hear Angelo's new works with the new members. They will release new album on August 5th, 2011 with the title: [BABEL]. But, I don't know whether Kiryu and Giru has give participation in the album or not. Anyway, I just can't wait!!

Congratulations Angelo! Congratulations Kirito-san! And... Good luck! Best wishes for you!

p.s. Now I have to look a new picture to replace the old picture of Angelo on my blog (XP).


I was feeling empty through out this week. I felt that my heart have lost something. But, I also don't know what was I've lost. I know the reason what made me feel like that, though. It has been a stressed week for me! >.< And it will be still sressed for weeks to come. I won't feel relief before we have the Grand Meeting, which would might depend my steps in the future. Kowai ne~~~ Yeah, it's throbbing and that's why I have the empty feeling.

And when I was feeling like that, I put on SINDRA by vistlip. And guess what? I felt that I wanted to cry! Seriously, I was inside the bus and my eyes were starting to get teary as the song played. I quickly said to myself, "What the fudge?!!". The song has really struck my feeling. I know the meaning of the song, it's about the band that has decide to walk again. The song is their first step of returning and continue to pursuit their dreams.

With the song, they are saying that they've walk again while I was thinking the opposite way. I was thinking to stop walking. I was feeling tired and need to go somewhere to ease my mind aka running away. That's why I almost cried when I heard the song. Because I was feeling guilty, lame, confused, scared, worried, chicken, and losing confidence with myself. I don't know what to do. I was feeling alone. I was feeling embarassed with myself that had the thinking of running away from life, even to stopped walking. I felt embarassed... How could I stop when they are start to walking?

In the end, I didn't cried, not even single of tears, even when I reached home (usually I will burried myself under the pillow and cried ^^;).

I stiil have all those feeling though. But, also a bit calm. I realize that there's no point to keep worrying. I just have to face whatever happen. I try to see the positive from all of it and do the best that I can. Hopefully Allah will bless my way :)

Many thanks vistlip! If isn't for the song, SINDRA. I might be really stop walking. Love you guys more and more!

Friday, August 26, 2011

My Saviors

There were times when I want to give up, to quit walking, to condemned myself, to arrived at the point where I hate myself. And these people have saved me, they are my saviors :)

hyde-sama with his song, "Prayer". The words from the song have saved me from the feeling to "end everything".

Mao-kun with his words, "If you think [this is tough] even once halfway, you'll lose. Clear your heart and keep thinking of happy things".

Umi-nii with his spirits and scary look as if he'll get very mad if I give up ^^;

The one that has saved me for so many times. He has saved me just with being himself. I love him with all my heart. He's my world, he's my life, he's my everything. I love him till the world's end.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

In the memorial of Jasmine You

It’s been 2 years since YOU are gone. But, I never feel YOU far. I always feel YOU are close. As if YOU will be there whenever I turn around. 
Then again, YOU are really there. YOU will always there each time I remember. YOU will always live inside my heart, inside my memories. It’s the place YOU won’t ever disappear. It’s the place where I can always see YOU. 
Sweet dreams beautiful YOU. YOU will always be love. YOU will always be miss. 
RIP to Jasmine You. The bassist and eternal member of Versailles. 

Sunday, August 07, 2011

vistlip - SINDRA [personal interpretation]

A friend made a great interpretation about SINDRA, the recent single from vistlip. It made me shiver when I read the definition. But, after I think about it again, if the interpretation was true, then it's kinda sad. Since it would mean "attacking" the fans.

So I take time to watch again the video and made my own interpretation. Remember, it's MY OWN INTERPRETATION. I don't know about the real one. I've asked Umi-nii and Yuh..but they didn't answer it *cries*
Well, this is my interpretation about the scene on the video.

First of all, it's very obvious that SINDRA tells about vistlip come back after last year accident, and the scene are there to support the theme. The opening scene when it showed them walking has clearly represented it. It means they have started to walk again.

The scene of each member.
1. Rui with the typewriter. I see it as Rui was ready to type something, either the journey that the band would be making again, song lyrics, music, or the band's plans for the future: lives, tours, interviews, and photos session schedule.

2. Umi with the camera. I see it as a sign that they will be surely active again, and doing photo session is one of the way for it.

3. Tohya and the cake. I see it as a sign they would again have a feast during all their activities.

4. Yuh and the mirror. I see it as Yuh leaving his past (his reflection on the mirror) to start walking again. It can be seen through the scene when Yuh is leaving while his reflection stays inside the mirror.

5. Tomo and the hairdryer. I see it as Tomo is getting ready to get active again. He's dressing himself up and add with the confidence look on his face, he's telling everyone that he's ready.

6. The scene when they watch the fish (Arwana) swim. I see it as if they represent themselves as the fish. The fish keep swimming, because it's what the fish can only do. So, vistlip will still be making music, because it's what they can and want to do.

7. The scene with the moving clock. Well of course it shows that vistlip's time has start to ticking again. They are back and they are ready to start everything again. The moving clock and the five of them in one scene has clear the meaning.

8. The last scene that shows empty room and also empty aquarium. I see it as now they all have going outside to start again the journey. As for the fish, maybe it has also start a new journey on the sea or maybe inside the band's stomach...who knows? (XDD).  

And so, that's my own interpretation about the message in SINDRA. Don't matter is it right or wrong, I made this just to show how I honor and appreciate the band. I love the band. I love them and will always support them.

Ganbatte Five Barkin Animals!

Credits goes to the friend that has share her interpretations, so I can come up with my own (^^v)

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Happy Birthday Umi! (fan fiction)

Here I am...still in the mood of vistlip (^^).
After making a short (and lame) video for Umi-nii's birthday, now I've made a (lame) fan fiction bout the band's way to celebrate his birthday. And strangely, I LOVE THE STORY!! (XDD). How can there be a narcissistic writer like me??

If anyone interested to read it, go here.
Happy birthday, Umi-nii~~~~

Monday, August 01, 2011

1 year ago.... [vistlip]

Tomo and Yuh has made a post on July 30th, 2011. The post were quite sad. At first I didn't get it with Yuh's post, he mentioned about "one year...", and Tomo posted that he was crying. EH??? What's going on here?? So I lurked around the net and then found the answer.....

July 30th, 2011 was the one year of the terrible accident that had cost their manager's life. I knew it...they still carrying the broken heart. Well, I can understand that. It must be very hard and shocking for them. My best wishes are with them.

And so I wish I can tell them how they've become precious for me. I've read some interviews about them, sharing info with other fans, seeing their live videos, lurking on their pictures, all of it make me feel amazed with them. They have the spirit, the energy, the skill, the charm, they can make it! I'm sure they can make it! They are the 2nd band who I wanted to watch their live. Their live was so great! Awesome and full of energy! Their best performance are when doing the live!!

I realize I'm going more and more deep with them. I even lost my interest to what I usually like (^^). BUT! It's because they deserve it! They are working hard, and I want to support them in anyway I can. That's why, I'll be putting them second in my favorite voices :)

I love you, guys! I really do. I admire you and this feeling growing deep day by day. I wish I can tell you that. I also hope this and many other messages I've sent can reach you somehow. Hope you know how much your existence are important, not only for me but also to everyone.

Let's walk to the light together :)