Thursday, November 19, 2009


I've decided to go on hiatus, until I've make up my feeling :)


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

God damn blood suckers!

Finally it happens...I know this will happen. I've feel it. When people talking this and that, assuming this and that, my heart already has the answer, the one and only answer that has been a reality.

Kimi won't be racing next year.

I've paid too much attention for the news lately. My hopes are rising so high. I'm lying to my self. I don't want to accept the truth and hope to see something else to happen, not the truth, it will be great if my hopes really happen, but I should have know it...I should have accept the truth rather than lying to my self and get hurt even deeper. I'm hurt now.

I won't see Kimi next year.

And the worst...that bloody suckers has take Kimi's righteous place! The bloody suckers that I hate the most!! They have been my nightmares and now they are also for Kimi! I hate them more now! Cursed on them! I hate them!!!! I hate myself for writing about them here..they don't deserve it! Go away you blood suckers! Even hell doesn't worthy for you to stay!!

I will always love Kimi..forever...though he won't be near...though he won't be here...this love for him will always be his.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Roses and roses

A kind of flower that I quite like is roses. I like every kind of roses, but mostly white ones. Each roses have a meaning. This is the meaning of roses by its colors.

Symbolic of: Love, beauty, courage and respect, true Love , romantic Love, I love you, congratulations, job well done.

Symbolic of: Purity and innocence, silence or secrecy, also reverence and humility, I am worthy Of you, keep a secret

Light Pink
Symbolic of: admiration, fun and happiness,perfect happiness, gentleness, sweetness, please believe me

Symbolic of: Joy, gladness, friendship, delight, the promise of a new beginning, freedom, I care, welcome back, remember me, jealousy

Symbolic of: Desire, and enthusiasm,


Blue roses...Is there a blue roses..???


I've been lacking of sleep lately and it cost me big time! I can't concentrate with works while there's so much to be done! >_< Because of it I'm lacking of motivations too...all I can think is weekend..time to get more sleep..time to hibernate! XD

I think I'll skip any plans at weekends for two weeks ahead...I want to stay at home and do more care with my sanctuary...tidy up my room...arrange my mangas...continue my writings...

Yupz! I think I'll feel better after I do things what I like :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

SID ~Uso~

This is the lyric and translation for "Uso" sung by SID.

Uso by SID

ano hi mita sora akaneiro no sora wo nee kimi ha oboeteimasu ka
yakusoku chigiri shoka no kaze ga tsutsumu
futari yorisotta

Do you remember that dawning sky of back then?
We made a promise and the Summer Wind embraced us
as we cuddled together.

muri na egao no ura nobita kage wo kakumau
dakara kidzukanu furi saisei wo erabu

Under that imposible smile hides a growing shadow,
that’s why I pretended to not notice and chose to continue along.

TE-BURU no ue no furuenai shirase machitsudzukete
kuuhaku no yoru mo kuru hazu no nai asa mo
zenbu wakattetanda

I continued to wait for the unshakable notice on the table,
I understood everything in both the White Night and the morning
that should have never come…

ano hi mita sora akaneiro no sora wo nee kimi ha wasureta no deshou
yakusoku chigiri shoka no kaze ni kieta
futari modorenai

You have forgotten that sky, that dawning sky of back then haven’t you?
You shattered our promise and “we” disappeared into the summer wind…
and we can’t go back…

oto mo iro mo ondo mo hanbun ni natta kono heya
kyou mo chirakashite ha yure tsukare nemuru

This room has lost half it’s sound, color, and warmth…
today has also scattered…I’m shivering and tired, so I sleep.

“jouzu ni damashitene uso ha kirai de suki” kimi no kotoba
ima koro ni natte kimochi ha itai hodo dakara
bokura sayonara

“I decieved you so easily didn’t I? I hate lies…yet love them.” were your words,
if we stay as we are, this pain will hurt us too much, that’s why,
we said goodbye.

itsuka matane to
te wo furiatta kedo mou au koto ha nai no deshou
saigo no uso ha yasashii uso deshita wasurenai

“We’ll see each other again”
we said as we waved at each other, but we won’t meet once again will we?
That final lie was such a tender lie…so I won’t forget it.

ano hi mita sora akaneiro no sora wo nee itsuka omoidasu deshou
hatasenakatta yakusoku daite futari arukidasu

You’ll remember that dawning sky of back then right?
We embrace this promise that we didn’t let end and together walk forward.

(Big credits to: Suisei on Dechipered Melody Wordpress)

From comedy to tragedy

It's been so long I haven't continue my writings...miss it so much :(( I realize now it's one of the reason why I feel empty lately..I haven't got the time to write. I'm finishing some short stories now, but with the works I also have, it's quite difficult to do it. Usually I just write it down and edited it later on. cross me. I've write about tragedy more than comedy, though my starting point was on comedy story. I've designed "Anata ga iru kara" as a romance-friendship-family comedy...though now after it finish...there's only a little comedy in it. I don't know since when I've changed my style..maybe since I've read many tragedy mangas. Now the short stories I've been working are also about tragedy or only have small part of comedy in it, and the long story I've been planning to write is about tragedy too...sigh...I really miss writing comedy...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

SID - One way

SID - One way (11.11.09)
01 - one way
02 - Kaitou Neon
03 - Doyoubi no Onna (Live from SID TOUR 2009 hikari)

SID has released new single on November 11th, 2009, title "One Way". The first time I watched the video I went, "Eh?"...the song and video doesn't get into me that time. But, after I heard it for sometime, I become to like it :)

"One way" is a cheerful song along with the video. It makes me jump out :) I must take back my previous words, the song and the video are great!! I love it! I love Mao too XD He's cuter in the video..skinnier but also cuter XDD..and his voice...sigh..what a great voice!

"Kaitou Neon" is quite a cheerful and jazzy song, which it's what I like from SID (they make me like jazzy music). I've missed jazzy songs from SID. There's no jazzy song in their latest album, HIKARI. And with this song I feel that the band has still keep it's music line, that is jazzy rock :)

"Doyoubi no Onna ~Live from SID TOUR 2009 hikari~", what I like from this one is because it's the live version. I always like live version's song since I can feel the vocalist energy and spirit. Mao is one of the greatest vocalist, he has a clear voice and can perform quite the same between recording or live..I'm amazed with his voice...Mao's voice sound so funny XP

Over all...great songs from SID! I become to really like them!! Can't wait for the album! I hope they will release it soon...hopefully there will be a new album...I will surely go for it! XD

Great job SID!! Great Mao! XDD

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Cheating ^_^

I’ve been cheating lately hehehe...I’ve been listening to songs beside L’Arc~en~Ciel and Hyde. It’s been quite a while I haven’t listen them XD Gomen ne minna sama!!

Then this is my cheating list.
1.Acid Black Cherry (Yasu). I like Yasu’s unique voice and funny character XD He also has a unique sense of music, that’s why he’s in my top cheating list.

2.SID or シド (read SHIDO). A long time ago I was interested with the look from the vocalist, Mao. I thought he’s a sweet little boy, and now I finally know that he isn’t a little boy!! He was born on October 23rd, 1977, that means he’s just turn 32 this year! What? With that cute face he’s 32 years old?! Miracle do exist XDD But, beside the face, I really like Mao’s voice…so unique and funny. It’s like a voice of shivering after taking a cold bath XDD (A friend has said the same thing about Gackt’s voice XD)

3.Pierrot. Actually the band has disbanded, but I can’t forget the band first album that I’ve listen, FINALE. So when I finally got the album, the songs ringed back to me.

4.Aqua Timez. I’ve just listen to them recently and not really that much get in to it. But, I like one of their single albums, NIJI. Sweet song and of course comfortably voice from Futoshi. I think I’m always get in to people who has unique voices ^_^

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Kimi said, "Let's wait and see,"

The only comment come from Kimi lately was, "Let's wait and see what happens,". He still hasn't give a sign where he would be next season. I will, Kimi. I will wait and see where you will be next year. But, this waiting is tiring and depressing. Not knowing what would happen or waiting for something to happen is not always feel exciting. Sometimes it can also feel tiring, boring, annoying, and just like I've been say over and over..depressing. I'm quite depressed, Kimi!! When will you have your answer..? Wouldn't be nice to go on holiday after you decided where you will be next year? I would do so :)

Sigh...I know I can't predict Kimi's behavior, what he'll do or what he'll going to say, also what's on his mind. Kimi is mysterious and everything about him is also mysterious. But, that's the fun thing about him. Because Kimi is different with common people, he's so unique and special. And cause of that...I can't tell what will be his decisions...this time I even don't have any guessing..or maybe I was afraid to guessing..guessing but then the real thing doesn't goes like I wanted. That's why I'm feeling afraid like now....

Yes, Kimi, I only can wait and see...wait for your decision and see where you will's depressing I know but..I will do it for you :)

Friday, November 06, 2009

Finally it happens XD

Hahaha...I can't hold my self from laughing when I remember what happen today. I was wondering when it will happen, and today it finally happen! I was miss recognized again! And this time it happen when I want to go to the washroom. When I almost enter the girls room, the employee hold me and said, "the mens room is over there,".

I look at her and smile, "You've miss recognize me,"

The employee look surprised so I just leave her like that and get done with my own business there XD From inside the wash room I can hear her saying,

"I'm really sorry, miss,"
"It's alright!" I shout back but can't hold my silence laughter (?)

Hahaha..finally it happens! I always wondering when will someone miss recognize me when I'm going inside the wash'll be fun! And in fact it is fun!! XDD

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Worries after worries

Sigh...things inside my world are quite hard lately. I'm still waiting for news about Kimi's decision for 2010 season. Will he stay or walk away? I don't understand why it takes time like this? What's be the trouble? If it meant to be a surprised, I hope it will be a joyful surprised. I hope Kimi will stayed :(( I can't stand with this depressing feeling. I'm worry...I'm so worry...and confused. I don't know where I must find the answer. Everyday I always check out the news, on the papers and the internet, hope to read something I want to read. None so far. Kimi, I hope you'll give us the decision's so depressing... :((

Then, this morning I read news about Yasu san. He has a trouble with his throat. They said there's a cysts on his vocal cords and it make him suffered. The worst, to heal it he need get through a surgery! What! I've heard the news before when Yasu started his Q.E.D. tour, but I never thought it will be this bad :((

Yasu has decided to take a break in order to heal him self. I haven't know when he'll have the surgery. I can only hope that everything will be fine for him. Fans are sincerely asked to send him letters or email of support or can do it by keep him on our mind. I will absolutely do that! I will be thinking of him so it will reach Yasu and make him stronger. I really hope Yasu will be fine. He's one of the voices in my life..the voice I want to always hear and caress me.

Yasu san, get better soon. I'll pray the very best for your healing.
As for Kimi...please be hurry with the decision...sign the contract, please! XD

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Voices of my life

I've realize this recently, the reason what I like from a band, beside of the music, is also the voice from the vocalist. I love beautiful, strong, powerful, unique, and funny voices. I've also become to like the voices while just talking normally or doing interviews. Here are some voices I like the most for right now.

Hyde sama (vocalist of L'Arc~en~Ciel)

Yasu san (Acid Black Cherry)

Mao kun (vocalist of SID)

Kirito (vocalist of Pierrot and Angelo)

Futoshi san (vocalist of Aqua Timez)

But, I think, for me, there's only one voice I will always love and be waiting to hear. The voice of this great man.

Kimi Raikkonen (vocalist of him self XD)

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Last but (hopefully) not the least race ~ Abu Dhabi race

Finally...2009 season has reach it's end. The new world champion and constructor has been declared. But, one thing is still uncertain.

I started with the race review. The race was using a brand new circuit of the calender, the Yas Marina Circuit at Abu Dhabi. The circuit was quite futuristic. The race started in the late evening until the sun sets down. Some said it will make the driver having sight difficulty due the sun light that block the drivers view.

Anyway, Kimi started the race from P11th and was doing great at the start of the race. He was pushing hard to move front but sadly he can't go anywhere :(( Thank God everything goes well for Kimi at the race, no trouble at all. If only Kimi can get front position maybe he could be in the podium and succeed giving Ferrari third place on the constructor's championship. In the final round, Kimi finished in 12th place. A disappointing result of course, further more it's the last race he had with Ferrari.

Yes, it is Kimi's last race being Ferrari driver. He won't be driving for the team next year. And the biggest and important question now is where he'll go next year? Mclaren is the strongest suggestion but the deal haven't been signed. I don't know what make the deal took so it from Kimi or Mclaren side? Big noted that there's Hamilton at Mclaren. I believe Hamilton won't be too happy having Kimi as his team mate next year. I don't want Hamilton to be Kimi's team mate too but I would love to see Kimi kicked that Brat ass XD

Sigh...I just hope the final race at Abu Dhabi won't be the final too for Kimi. I've prepared my self from the first time I've heard the news. Even so, it still feel hard. Although I said I would respect Kimi's decision and would follow him where ever he go, but deep inside, for the truth...I want him to stay at F1. It's my only way for now to keep seeing Kimi. Even so, the decision is at Kimi's hand now. It has been 2 days since the race ended and still no news about Kimi's future. I'm waiting impatiently and full worried. I've prepared my self...but I guess I won't be that strong when the worst thing finally happen.

Kimi..I've said it once and will always said it for many times..for you..for better or worst, I will always be with you and support you no matter what happen. I'm a fans of yours, even more..I'm a lover of yours...I love you and pray the very best for you...always...what ever the decision might be..I will always love you..thank you for everything, Kimi. God bless you :)