Okay...I'm quite annoyed these days. What's else if not because of my one and only love, Kimi Raikkonen. Well, Kimi hasn't do anything wrong. He never does! It's because the dispute between FIA and FOTA that would influence Kimi's participation on 2010 season. The FIA insisted to have budget cap starting on 2010 while FOTA insisted not to follow it. FOTA has announced they'll make a rival series to F1 in 2010 if FIA insisting to have the budget cap.
I was shocked. I thought this matter has ended with the FOTA teams had signed up for 2010 season. I was cheering that time even though Ferrari has straighten out that the signing isn't mean they are agree with the budget cap. They will surely sign out from the series if FIA is still with it's wishes. And they are serious.
This is why I'm so annoyed, and add with Kimi's poor result at British GP. It's no good! I've become hysteric again and wanted to cry each time I see Kimi's picture. He's so precious for me and I can't imagine my days without him around. I know this is crazy. My condition before and after Kimi leave won't be so different. He's still faraway to reach. But he'll be more faraway if he really leave the series.
Only one thing crossed my mind when I read the news about FOTA decision, "Is it over?" I know my love for Kimi won't ever be over even if he's not in F1. But one thing is surely over and that is my life. Kimi is my life and if he's gone, my life would also gone. I feel empty when I don't see him and I definitely will feel there's a big empty space in my heart if I can't see him again. Is this the answer why my silver bracelet suddenly lose off? That I will lose Kimi? That I won't ever see him again?
My world is slowly falling down now....and it will surely become pieces when Kimi is really gone...Is it over? Yes, it is. My life is over.