Friday, May 29, 2009
I don't have close relationship with my family. As I grew up, I've seen the truth about them. The things I never seen when I was little. That point I've decided I won't become like them. I want to be someone they never knew. They would be surprised but this is me.
I never share stories with my family. They don't know what I've been doing. Nothing bad. I just don't want them to know and interfere with my life. But now I slowly told them what path I've choose for my future. They think I was joking but they would realize someday that I'm not. It's the biggest decision I've made for my life. It's also like a revenge hahaha I can't wait for that time to arrive!
Kazoku dakara...it's not for me. I don't have strong bond with my family. I just thought that they are my family and that's it. They are the people who lived together with me since I was little. I don't have such big feeling for them. Yes, I want to take care of them but it's just a replied for what they've done for me. I don't care if they have a problem. I just care when it also trouble me. I won't care with their problems since I don't want to wasting my time also mind to think about something that doesn't caused by me. Why I should trouble my self for something caused by themselves? It's just wasting time.
I know I might sound not grateful for what I have. but I am though. I'm grateful that I've realize this condition. If not I might become a person I would hate the most. I won't denied that they are my family and I also would defend them from everything that harm them. No one can scold my family. Only me who can! That;s why i hate people who causing trouble for them. Why? It doesn't mean I care but when they have problem, they would run to me and it annoyed me.
Because of them, I've decided to make my heart die. The Mighty God don't fullfill my prayers when I asked to make my heart dies. So, I make it die. I don't want to feel anything, I don't want to think of something annnoyed me. I only want to think of things important for me, things I cherish and loved. People would think me crazy if knew the things I cherish and love. I don't care. I'm an egoist.
Strangely, I would smile when looking at one family or when someone called home to let them know where he/she was. I smile because they don't know the real thing about a family. They just haven't arrive at that point. I'm jealous? Of course not. I'm so grateful to be like I am right now. i don't have any complain about what I'm feeling now. I love it and I'm grateful for it.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Yatta! Yokattara! I keep saying that after Kimi crossed the finish line and take 3rd podium on Monaco GP. Finally, Kimi could be in the podium again. Finally, I could see Kimi's face again and not just his car ^^;
Kimi started the race from P2. I was cheering since then even though the race was the day after ^^ Thank God, I've decided to watched the qualifying even though late in midnight. Kimi could be in the front though, too bad the Brawn take it away in the last minute >_< Then the race started. I was watching Kimi closely and hope he could jumped over Button. Too bad it didn't happen. Even Kimi had to lost his place to Rubens. Kimi was in 3rd and stayed like that followe by Massa in 4th place. Too bad....
BUT! Kimi was awesome! He was so quick and don't make any mistake. Monaco is a street circuit and very narrow. Drivers would finish in the side walk if they were too excited. Kimi was quick, he was excited but he doesn't make stupid mistake. He was awesome. He was too great to watched! I'm glad I love such a great man.
I also really proud of Kimi. He has work hard. I know he has. I can see it from his face, he was feeling relieve. Kimi looked at the sky when the nation anthem being played, he might be thinking, "Finally, I made it. I made it here," :) I also feel relieved for Kimi. Finally he could be in the podium. I know he can do it. I always know it. That's why I keep saying, yokattara >> thank God, Kimi. You've made it!
One thing I don't like from this race was Kimi look really skinny! The KERS has forced Kimi to lost his weight. Kimi look limp and doesn't look quite well. Not only on this race, but also from the pictures I've seen before this. Even so, I still love Kimi. I love him what ever he would look like ^^
Thank you for your hard work, Kimi. I'm so proud of you. I love you. Keep fighting till the end. I'll be always right beside you :)
Friday, May 15, 2009
When I was still in high school, my favorite quotes are about friendship and love. But now I'm working my quotes are about life, hard work, and struggle. I always asking my self, have I grown up? But I guess I've grown up in my own way
These are some quotes of my life.
"Sometimes I believe I'll win every race," (Kimi Raikkonen, 2007 F1World Champion)
"Mada Mada Dane," (Ryoma Echizen, the Prince of Tennis, literally it means, no, not yet)
"Even though you live by yourself, you must always feel happy," (Kurei, the Angel of fire)
"If there's something trouble you, just go home and write a diary! If you want to do it, then just do it!" (Tachibana Akane, Crazy Kouzu Basketball team)
"On each effort we've done, there's no inffectual words. In achieving your aim, although you feel confused and hurt, cried, powerless, and lose self confidence, even decided to give up, but one day, you will draw near to your aims. You will find something. You'll get more experiences. Stop for a moment isn't a useless thing. Don't ever think it's useless. Even though you can' t think that way right now. One day, there will come the day where you won't think that it's a useless thing and it will be a plus for you. Now, shall we started with the things that we like?" (Kakeru Suwa in Tears of Sheep).
"For who I fought? What for I do this? Of course it's for my self!" (Son Goku in Saiyuki Reload).
"I won't stop walking. I'll keep moving forward," (Allen Walker, the Crown Clown)."As long as we keep moving forward for what we believe in, it'll be all right," (Allen Walker, the Crown Clown).
On Wednesday, May 13th, 2009, VAMPS (duo band of Hyde and K.A.Z) has released its 3rd single album. The album concist of two songs.
- Life on Mars?
Evanescent is a sweet and gentle song. VAMPS once again has make awesome song. It's a beautiful song although give a sad feeling. The sadness is also seen through the PV. Hyde look sad when singing the song. I wonder what he's thinking or should I say who?
Life on Mars? is a cover song of the same song from David Bowie. Although it's on English but I can't understand Hyde's words. After I get the lyric then I laugh so hard. I see! So this is what Hyde's saying I'm sorry Hyde sama, although your pronunciation seem to be improving but I still can't understand your words It's a good song though. I haven't hear the real version from David Bowie but I do like VAMPS version. Hyde sang it in an unique way, well his way of course. Hyde always can do cover song in an unique way. I always amazed with his talent and of course with his voice. I hope David Bowie would be happy listening to VAMPS version of his song.
VAMPS has work hard indeed. I like their songs and waiting for their 1st album on June. I bet it will be awesome. Their singles are awesome. Even, VAMPS is a band who's become famous and would held US tour with only releasing singles! Go VAMPS! Go Hyde sama! Keep on rocking!