Thursday, December 24, 2009

As if in a dream

Actually in November, it's been a year since my brother in law has passed away. Still, I think it's like a dream. Dream that disappear when I wake up. I still feel it's not really happen, that he was just going away for work and will seeing him at weekends. He would drive his yellow motorcycle with his two children. He would slept at the couch through the day and get back to his home when the sun set down. I missed that usual activity of his...

Still I thought it was a dream. But, when I look at the faces of his loved ones. I know it wasn't a dream, it's for real. That he has gone away and we won't see him again. I can see the empty space left by him and I know his loved ones feel more emptier than me.

So..for the last 1 year..have I fulfill my promises to him? Have I take care of his loved ones just like I've promised him? I'm not that sure I have done it with my best. But, I will keep doing it as best as I can, to watch over his loved ones. But, I may not good doing it as him did XP But, I'll try :)

Rest in peace "Abang". I quite miss you :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

My Dear :)

My post on twitter, "-----> My Dear"
And Dipa asked, "Who's the lucky boy?"


This is the lucky boy. This is My Dear.


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Chiisana Shiawase ~a little happiness~

Are you happy?
Are you happy with your life?
Have you ever envy with other people's life?
Sometimes I feel like that :) Sometimes I'm jealous with what people have. Sometimes I forget the happiness I have that people don't have. Maybe because it's a little happiness that I don't realize I have it. Well, if I can choose, I'd rather have many little happiness than just a single one happiness. Also, the size and form of my happiness might be so much different with people thinking.

My little happiness is just simple.

To love what I love

To listen what I want to listen

To read what I want to read

Just as simple as that, and come my little happiness. How about you? :)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Meine Liebe

Meine Liebe (4 volume)
Author: Izawa Rei
Artist: Yuki Kaori and Izawa Rei

Finally I can finish this 4 volume manga. It's a short volume, but it takes me time to accept the story (read: shoujo love story). It's a funny and touching story. The main character, Erika Klause, is a energetic and kind girl, which kindness has attract the Strahl Students (aka good looking guys XP). Well for the truth, I don't like the concept "one for all and all for one" in shoujo manga. Erika has take all the role play in the story and put aside others character.

The main line of the story is about Erika who was looking for her dearest step brother (same father-different mother). I knew who was the brother at first sight. Well, just look at the hair color XP And the story develop into a wider relationship between Erika and the Strahl Students, which is Orphe, Edward (Ed), Camus, Liudwig (Liu), and Naoji. As I expected, Erika get many attention from the Strahl Students, especially from Orphe and Naoji which lead to love feelings (sigh). But, good thing was that no unfair competition between Orphe and Naoji for getting Erika's love. Maybe because they are nobles man with honor and pride, or maybe because Erika has her own choice, which she still doesn't realize till the end of the story (sigh).

In the end...everyone is happy. Erika found her dearest brother and also get the love from Orphe. Happy ending for everyone. What about Naoji? He's a big heart person, he'll find another love soon XP

I feel so-so for this manga. I like the story about Erika who was looking for her brother, but I don't quite like the love story. It's too ordinary and easily guess what will happen next. Plus, I'm quite embarrassed reading the seduction words XDD Noble man!! Oh well, it's a shoujo love manga anyway XP I wish they would tell more about Camus and Liudwig, both are quite interesting character. I'm wondering about Camus past with his unique ability...? There's a hints about that but no continuation :(

Even so, it's a nice story. Maybe I could take the idea on my writings :) I also like the artwork, so soft and give warm feeling just like Shigeru Takao sensei artworks :*

Monday, December 14, 2009

After the party...

Finally I get back from my first end year meeting. It's actually quite fun ^_^
At first I was quite worried since I'm the only newbie there...also I've heard bad rumors about what usually happen at the meeting O_O but, thank God everything went fine and I come home still in one piece XP

I get lots of valuable experiences there. It's true! I've realize my mistakes and weakness and know what should I do as an employee. I realize that I have join a great place with great people. So, I must be very grateful and work hard also serious from now on. It's something I haven't done lately :( I'm so grateful they ask me to attend this meeting from the first day. Not only I get valuable experiences but I also have learn many things about my works and my work place, also some gossip about it's people XP Prejudice can come up by words of people, it did affect me a little, but being a liberal person, I won't take everything for granted. It's just for my guide line in dealing with the people :)

The out bound at the last day of the meeting become the closing event. I could gather around with people I just see and don't know the name XP It's quite fun though my body feel hurt till now.

And now I've back to my works...though it will be quite hard but I know I must change little by little from now on. I must get serious and focused with my works. For the sake of those who believe in me also for the sake of my self :) I remember Mao san once said that his biggest enemy is himself, and I agree with him :) So, ganbarimao my self!! :)

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

L'Arc~en~Ciel releasing new single

It has been confirmed that on January 27th, 2010, L'Arc~en~Ciel will be releasing brand new single, BLESS. It's also the NHK Vancouver 2010 broadcast theme song. I'm so happy that finally they are releasing something :) It's been long time with no news from them, and this news definitely add the joy I had lately (Kimi's signing for WRC at 2010).

The single preview can be seen at Youtube and it's su~~per su~~goi~~ (I'm imitating Mao ^_^). It's so beautiful and really suit the song theme. I was so touch with the song. Again, a fine and great work from Minna sama!! I'm so happy I can listen to their great work again, such a beautiful and gentle song, along with the sweet music and voice...and when seeing them recording the song together...I might cry....I'm so happy they are back...
Can't wait to see their live performance at Music Station on January 24th, 2010. Maybe I would really cry that time...Minna sama...nothing I can say than my gratitude for having you back...thank you so much..You are really BLESS!!!

And one other thing...tetsu has change his stage performance's "tetsuya" for L'Arc~en~Ciel and "TETSUYA" for solo works. Don't know the reason he's changing his name...then shall the rest follow??

L'Arc~en~Ciel are:
vocal: hideto
bass: tetsuya
guitar: ken
drums: yukihiro

Not quite catchy though... ^_^ Whatever! Though the name has change, I will still call him, "tetsu san" :)

Monday, December 07, 2009


Did I make up my feeling? Nope. Not quite. I still feeling annoyed, upset, and sad. My world is still at the edge and any time can slide down easily. It's up to me whether I keep it that way or let it fall. I choose the first. I choose to continue living though it won't be the same since something important has gone. But, I believe that as long as the same feeling still exist, everything will be fine. I will be fine :)

And for him, I know he will also be fine. He's a strong man, stronger than me, I want to be as strong as him. For me, as long as he feels happy, I will be happy :)

I will also keep supporting him from now on. He will be competing at WRC started next year. I know nothing about the event so I must start to learn the rules and how the race goes.

Everybody said it will be though, but I have this feeling that he's going to be fine. He will make it and surprised everyone. He's a great man indeed. He never give up. He never stop walking and always keep moving forward. He never look back and regret what happen in the past. He has find new dream to achieve, new challenge to do, new journey to begun. And this time also, I will always right beside him :)

Kimi, thank you for being so great. I will keep following you no matter where you go :) Keep on fighting! :)

And so it means...I'm back :)

Thursday, November 19, 2009


I've decided to go on hiatus, until I've make up my feeling :)


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

God damn blood suckers!

Finally it happens...I know this will happen. I've feel it. When people talking this and that, assuming this and that, my heart already has the answer, the one and only answer that has been a reality.

Kimi won't be racing next year.

I've paid too much attention for the news lately. My hopes are rising so high. I'm lying to my self. I don't want to accept the truth and hope to see something else to happen, not the truth, it will be great if my hopes really happen, but I should have know it...I should have accept the truth rather than lying to my self and get hurt even deeper. I'm hurt now.

I won't see Kimi next year.

And the worst...that bloody suckers has take Kimi's righteous place! The bloody suckers that I hate the most!! They have been my nightmares and now they are also for Kimi! I hate them more now! Cursed on them! I hate them!!!! I hate myself for writing about them here..they don't deserve it! Go away you blood suckers! Even hell doesn't worthy for you to stay!!

I will always love Kimi..forever...though he won't be near...though he won't be here...this love for him will always be his.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Roses and roses

A kind of flower that I quite like is roses. I like every kind of roses, but mostly white ones. Each roses have a meaning. This is the meaning of roses by its colors.

Symbolic of: Love, beauty, courage and respect, true Love , romantic Love, I love you, congratulations, job well done.

Symbolic of: Purity and innocence, silence or secrecy, also reverence and humility, I am worthy Of you, keep a secret

Light Pink
Symbolic of: admiration, fun and happiness,perfect happiness, gentleness, sweetness, please believe me

Symbolic of: Joy, gladness, friendship, delight, the promise of a new beginning, freedom, I care, welcome back, remember me, jealousy

Symbolic of: Desire, and enthusiasm,


Blue roses...Is there a blue roses..???


I've been lacking of sleep lately and it cost me big time! I can't concentrate with works while there's so much to be done! >_< Because of it I'm lacking of motivations too...all I can think is weekend..time to get more sleep..time to hibernate! XD

I think I'll skip any plans at weekends for two weeks ahead...I want to stay at home and do more care with my sanctuary...tidy up my room...arrange my mangas...continue my writings...

Yupz! I think I'll feel better after I do things what I like :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

SID ~Uso~

This is the lyric and translation for "Uso" sung by SID.

Uso by SID

ano hi mita sora akaneiro no sora wo nee kimi ha oboeteimasu ka
yakusoku chigiri shoka no kaze ga tsutsumu
futari yorisotta

Do you remember that dawning sky of back then?
We made a promise and the Summer Wind embraced us
as we cuddled together.

muri na egao no ura nobita kage wo kakumau
dakara kidzukanu furi saisei wo erabu

Under that imposible smile hides a growing shadow,
that’s why I pretended to not notice and chose to continue along.

TE-BURU no ue no furuenai shirase machitsudzukete
kuuhaku no yoru mo kuru hazu no nai asa mo
zenbu wakattetanda

I continued to wait for the unshakable notice on the table,
I understood everything in both the White Night and the morning
that should have never come…

ano hi mita sora akaneiro no sora wo nee kimi ha wasureta no deshou
yakusoku chigiri shoka no kaze ni kieta
futari modorenai

You have forgotten that sky, that dawning sky of back then haven’t you?
You shattered our promise and “we” disappeared into the summer wind…
and we can’t go back…

oto mo iro mo ondo mo hanbun ni natta kono heya
kyou mo chirakashite ha yure tsukare nemuru

This room has lost half it’s sound, color, and warmth…
today has also scattered…I’m shivering and tired, so I sleep.

“jouzu ni damashitene uso ha kirai de suki” kimi no kotoba
ima koro ni natte kimochi ha itai hodo dakara
bokura sayonara

“I decieved you so easily didn’t I? I hate lies…yet love them.” were your words,
if we stay as we are, this pain will hurt us too much, that’s why,
we said goodbye.

itsuka matane to
te wo furiatta kedo mou au koto ha nai no deshou
saigo no uso ha yasashii uso deshita wasurenai

“We’ll see each other again”
we said as we waved at each other, but we won’t meet once again will we?
That final lie was such a tender lie…so I won’t forget it.

ano hi mita sora akaneiro no sora wo nee itsuka omoidasu deshou
hatasenakatta yakusoku daite futari arukidasu

You’ll remember that dawning sky of back then right?
We embrace this promise that we didn’t let end and together walk forward.

(Big credits to: Suisei on Dechipered Melody Wordpress)

From comedy to tragedy

It's been so long I haven't continue my writings...miss it so much :(( I realize now it's one of the reason why I feel empty lately..I haven't got the time to write. I'm finishing some short stories now, but with the works I also have, it's quite difficult to do it. Usually I just write it down and edited it later on. cross me. I've write about tragedy more than comedy, though my starting point was on comedy story. I've designed "Anata ga iru kara" as a romance-friendship-family comedy...though now after it finish...there's only a little comedy in it. I don't know since when I've changed my style..maybe since I've read many tragedy mangas. Now the short stories I've been working are also about tragedy or only have small part of comedy in it, and the long story I've been planning to write is about tragedy too...sigh...I really miss writing comedy...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

SID - One way

SID - One way (11.11.09)
01 - one way
02 - Kaitou Neon
03 - Doyoubi no Onna (Live from SID TOUR 2009 hikari)

SID has released new single on November 11th, 2009, title "One Way". The first time I watched the video I went, "Eh?"...the song and video doesn't get into me that time. But, after I heard it for sometime, I become to like it :)

"One way" is a cheerful song along with the video. It makes me jump out :) I must take back my previous words, the song and the video are great!! I love it! I love Mao too XD He's cuter in the video..skinnier but also cuter XDD..and his voice...sigh..what a great voice!

"Kaitou Neon" is quite a cheerful and jazzy song, which it's what I like from SID (they make me like jazzy music). I've missed jazzy songs from SID. There's no jazzy song in their latest album, HIKARI. And with this song I feel that the band has still keep it's music line, that is jazzy rock :)

"Doyoubi no Onna ~Live from SID TOUR 2009 hikari~", what I like from this one is because it's the live version. I always like live version's song since I can feel the vocalist energy and spirit. Mao is one of the greatest vocalist, he has a clear voice and can perform quite the same between recording or live..I'm amazed with his voice...Mao's voice sound so funny XP

Over all...great songs from SID! I become to really like them!! Can't wait for the album! I hope they will release it soon...hopefully there will be a new album...I will surely go for it! XD

Great job SID!! Great Mao! XDD

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Cheating ^_^

I’ve been cheating lately hehehe...I’ve been listening to songs beside L’Arc~en~Ciel and Hyde. It’s been quite a while I haven’t listen them XD Gomen ne minna sama!!

Then this is my cheating list.
1.Acid Black Cherry (Yasu). I like Yasu’s unique voice and funny character XD He also has a unique sense of music, that’s why he’s in my top cheating list.

2.SID or シド (read SHIDO). A long time ago I was interested with the look from the vocalist, Mao. I thought he’s a sweet little boy, and now I finally know that he isn’t a little boy!! He was born on October 23rd, 1977, that means he’s just turn 32 this year! What? With that cute face he’s 32 years old?! Miracle do exist XDD But, beside the face, I really like Mao’s voice…so unique and funny. It’s like a voice of shivering after taking a cold bath XDD (A friend has said the same thing about Gackt’s voice XD)

3.Pierrot. Actually the band has disbanded, but I can’t forget the band first album that I’ve listen, FINALE. So when I finally got the album, the songs ringed back to me.

4.Aqua Timez. I’ve just listen to them recently and not really that much get in to it. But, I like one of their single albums, NIJI. Sweet song and of course comfortably voice from Futoshi. I think I’m always get in to people who has unique voices ^_^

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Kimi said, "Let's wait and see,"

The only comment come from Kimi lately was, "Let's wait and see what happens,". He still hasn't give a sign where he would be next season. I will, Kimi. I will wait and see where you will be next year. But, this waiting is tiring and depressing. Not knowing what would happen or waiting for something to happen is not always feel exciting. Sometimes it can also feel tiring, boring, annoying, and just like I've been say over and over..depressing. I'm quite depressed, Kimi!! When will you have your answer..? Wouldn't be nice to go on holiday after you decided where you will be next year? I would do so :)

Sigh...I know I can't predict Kimi's behavior, what he'll do or what he'll going to say, also what's on his mind. Kimi is mysterious and everything about him is also mysterious. But, that's the fun thing about him. Because Kimi is different with common people, he's so unique and special. And cause of that...I can't tell what will be his decisions...this time I even don't have any guessing..or maybe I was afraid to guessing..guessing but then the real thing doesn't goes like I wanted. That's why I'm feeling afraid like now....

Yes, Kimi, I only can wait and see...wait for your decision and see where you will's depressing I know but..I will do it for you :)

Friday, November 06, 2009

Finally it happens XD

Hahaha...I can't hold my self from laughing when I remember what happen today. I was wondering when it will happen, and today it finally happen! I was miss recognized again! And this time it happen when I want to go to the washroom. When I almost enter the girls room, the employee hold me and said, "the mens room is over there,".

I look at her and smile, "You've miss recognize me,"

The employee look surprised so I just leave her like that and get done with my own business there XD From inside the wash room I can hear her saying,

"I'm really sorry, miss,"
"It's alright!" I shout back but can't hold my silence laughter (?)

Hahaha..finally it happens! I always wondering when will someone miss recognize me when I'm going inside the wash'll be fun! And in fact it is fun!! XDD

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Worries after worries

Sigh...things inside my world are quite hard lately. I'm still waiting for news about Kimi's decision for 2010 season. Will he stay or walk away? I don't understand why it takes time like this? What's be the trouble? If it meant to be a surprised, I hope it will be a joyful surprised. I hope Kimi will stayed :(( I can't stand with this depressing feeling. I'm worry...I'm so worry...and confused. I don't know where I must find the answer. Everyday I always check out the news, on the papers and the internet, hope to read something I want to read. None so far. Kimi, I hope you'll give us the decision's so depressing... :((

Then, this morning I read news about Yasu san. He has a trouble with his throat. They said there's a cysts on his vocal cords and it make him suffered. The worst, to heal it he need get through a surgery! What! I've heard the news before when Yasu started his Q.E.D. tour, but I never thought it will be this bad :((

Yasu has decided to take a break in order to heal him self. I haven't know when he'll have the surgery. I can only hope that everything will be fine for him. Fans are sincerely asked to send him letters or email of support or can do it by keep him on our mind. I will absolutely do that! I will be thinking of him so it will reach Yasu and make him stronger. I really hope Yasu will be fine. He's one of the voices in my life..the voice I want to always hear and caress me.

Yasu san, get better soon. I'll pray the very best for your healing.
As for Kimi...please be hurry with the decision...sign the contract, please! XD

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Voices of my life

I've realize this recently, the reason what I like from a band, beside of the music, is also the voice from the vocalist. I love beautiful, strong, powerful, unique, and funny voices. I've also become to like the voices while just talking normally or doing interviews. Here are some voices I like the most for right now.

Hyde sama (vocalist of L'Arc~en~Ciel)

Yasu san (Acid Black Cherry)

Mao kun (vocalist of SID)

Kirito (vocalist of Pierrot and Angelo)

Futoshi san (vocalist of Aqua Timez)

But, I think, for me, there's only one voice I will always love and be waiting to hear. The voice of this great man.

Kimi Raikkonen (vocalist of him self XD)

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Last but (hopefully) not the least race ~ Abu Dhabi race

Finally...2009 season has reach it's end. The new world champion and constructor has been declared. But, one thing is still uncertain.

I started with the race review. The race was using a brand new circuit of the calender, the Yas Marina Circuit at Abu Dhabi. The circuit was quite futuristic. The race started in the late evening until the sun sets down. Some said it will make the driver having sight difficulty due the sun light that block the drivers view.

Anyway, Kimi started the race from P11th and was doing great at the start of the race. He was pushing hard to move front but sadly he can't go anywhere :(( Thank God everything goes well for Kimi at the race, no trouble at all. If only Kimi can get front position maybe he could be in the podium and succeed giving Ferrari third place on the constructor's championship. In the final round, Kimi finished in 12th place. A disappointing result of course, further more it's the last race he had with Ferrari.

Yes, it is Kimi's last race being Ferrari driver. He won't be driving for the team next year. And the biggest and important question now is where he'll go next year? Mclaren is the strongest suggestion but the deal haven't been signed. I don't know what make the deal took so it from Kimi or Mclaren side? Big noted that there's Hamilton at Mclaren. I believe Hamilton won't be too happy having Kimi as his team mate next year. I don't want Hamilton to be Kimi's team mate too but I would love to see Kimi kicked that Brat ass XD

Sigh...I just hope the final race at Abu Dhabi won't be the final too for Kimi. I've prepared my self from the first time I've heard the news. Even so, it still feel hard. Although I said I would respect Kimi's decision and would follow him where ever he go, but deep inside, for the truth...I want him to stay at F1. It's my only way for now to keep seeing Kimi. Even so, the decision is at Kimi's hand now. It has been 2 days since the race ended and still no news about Kimi's future. I'm waiting impatiently and full worried. I've prepared my self...but I guess I won't be that strong when the worst thing finally happen.

Kimi..I've said it once and will always said it for many times..for you..for better or worst, I will always be with you and support you no matter what happen. I'm a fans of yours, even more..I'm a lover of yours...I love you and pray the very best for you...always...what ever the decision might be..I will always love you..thank you for everything, Kimi. God bless you :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Yokoso Hyde sama!!

Finally I can say, “Yokoso Hyde sama!!”

HYDE Best Album
1.Made in Heaven
2.It’s Sad
3.Evergreen (dist.)
4.Jesus Christ
6.The Other Side
7.Shining Over You
9.Season’s Call
10.Sweet Vanilla
14.Midnight Celebration
15.Unexpected (dist.)
16.The Cape of Storms
17.Glamorous Sky ~English Version~

I finally have Hyde’s best album which released by the local music company, Sony Music Entertainment Indonesia! Thank you so much for releasing the album here! I hope the other will follow soon :)

At first I didn’t know the album has been officially released here. I read it at L’Arc~en~Ciel fans community blog. I thought it was a joke since there’s no official news about the release and also I haven’t seen it at local music store. So, I called my most visited and favorite music store, DUTA SUARA at Ekalokasari Plaza, Bogor. I asked the employee about the album but they said they don’t have it. Then, they offer me to make an order. They will call me when the album is available. So I make an order and then wait. It took maybe almost a month before the call finally came to informed that the CD is available and when do I want to take it. I instantly said, “NOW!” After work I quickly went to the store, hurried with the time for the store to be close, and grab the CD. It’s mine!!! Finally Hyde (best album) is mine XDD

And about the album, the songs are compilation from 3 of Hyde’s previously albums, Roentgen, 666, and Faith. There also singles that not included at those mention albums. There’s only one new song on this best album that is Glamorous Sky which Hyde perform it in English. The song it self is the soundtrack of NANA the Movie which Japanese version was sung by Mika Nakashima. I like Hyde’s version better :)

In general, this is only a compilation of Hyde’s songs. For the truth I don’t like the song’s order at the album. They are weird. One song taste hard rock then the next one was slow, I feel that they only take songs and put it together at the album just like that without rearrange the order. It doesn’t feel nice to hear the songs with the kind of order. And, sadly my most favorite Hyde’s songs doesn’t included at the album, Evergreen and Shallow Sleep. There’s Evergreen though but the distortion one, it’s good but I like the original one. But, I do feel satisfied since I quite like the songs that included on this album, such as, The Other Side; Shining Over You; Season’s Call; Hello; Hideaway; Prayer; The Cape of Storms; and my favorite one Glamorous Sky.

Over all, this is an album consist of Hyde’s best song and a must have album (for me XD). I’m so happy I could have it now! Thank you for Sony Music Entertainment Indonesia for releasing the album here (I hope many would also come soon XD); thank you for L'Arc~en~Ciel Indonesians Fans Page for sharing the information; thank you for DUTA SUARA Ekalokasari Plaza music store for looking out the CD for me; thank you God for having me the money to bought it (I almost broke that time XD); and last thank you for Hyde who has made good songs for me to enjoy. I love your voice so much!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Never Alone

My sweet friend on MySpace has send me a very beautiful video of Kimi. A fan made it and it's so wonderful!! I can't help it! I like it so much! If I haven't been at the office, I might cried watching it, seriously :) The song really suited to the feeling I had now for Kimi. The moving pictures are also perfect. Everything is perfect! I hope Kimi can see the video, so he would know how much people loved him and always support him. Once I thought I was alone with this feeling, but as I keep looking I found many people do share the same thing with me, love and admiration for Kimi. The fans are so great! I've been motivated and moved by them!

And this is the lyric from the song "Never Alone" by Lady Antebellum feat. Jim Brickman. The words are really true...Kimi, trust me, you will never be alone. Just like I've always said, I will always beside you whatever happen, either in good or bad times. Kimi, this one is specially for you :)

Never Alone

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home
May you always have plenty
The glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win and stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

Well, I have to be honest
As much as I wanted
I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fear surrounds you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home
And when hard times have found you
And your fear surrounds you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

I pledge: "either in good or bad times, I'm with you, Kimi" :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

6th place on fire!

I absolutely think the Brazilian GP was the most thrilling series of this season. This is the first time I felt scared again when watching Kimi's race. Kimi had an incident at pit lane. He's on fire and it was literally mean like that! He was on fire seriously! He got spray by the fuel from Kovalainen's car and the fire came up and burn him!! I was shocked! Though it's just happen for a short time but the feeling last even until now....

What happen really?

Kimi started the race from P5, which is awesome since the qualifying happen under hard rain. As note, other famous drivers started the race from very back of the grid. As the race started, Kimi fly to the front and manage to take 3rd place! (I really love this man!). Then, when he was attempting to overtake Webber on 2nd place, Kimi got hit and lose his front wing. He had to enter the pit quite early for that. Then great accident happen between Sutil and Trulli. It makes Safety Car being deployed. This is a good situation for Kimi, he took the pit stop before Safety Car came out, so he can join back the race with lots of fuel and doesn't get any Safety Car penalty. Then the incident happen...

Kovalainen was also in the pit at the same time with Kimi. When Kimi leaves the pit, Kovalainen does the same but still with the fuel hose attached. The fuel get sprayed everywhere including at Kimi who was right behind him. The flame suddenly came and burn the car!! Kimi look surprised, he let go the steering wheel for a moment before hold it back and drive as if nothing happen! I was shocked and almost cried. How did that could happen?! The reply was on and I can't barely watch it over again, it's too scary to watched! Kimi was being burn alive! Thank God the flame went off quickly by it self and Kimi continued driving as if nothing really happen....

I was completely worried for the whole race. I was waiting for the team confirmation that he was alright. I want to hear his voice saying he was alright. I want to hear the commentator said he was alright. Please someone told me that he was alright! No one said it and I watched the race with high tense. Even so, amazingly Kimi slowly move up his positions. One by one with no one realize it. In the end of the race, he finished in 6th place!! After the trouble at start, the pit incident, and with a very uncompetitive car, he still can take 6th place! Great drive by a great man! Even one of the commentator said he has done a great drive :)

Then after the race, I found out the fact that some fuel was actually get inside Kimi's eyes and even after the race, he still feel his eyes were burning. What!! Go see the doctor then!! What were you doing by talking as if it doesn't feel hurt? Why you keep driving with the pain? Oh dear...why you had to be that great?!! >_< It added my admiration for him again. With the pain, Kimi still drove beautifully with no mistakes and take 6th place. Other driver would just stopped right away! Once someone said about the calmness Schumy had when the same thing happen, then what about Kimi? He's cooler than Schumy!! It was really a scary thing to watched, I was feeling scared even until now when I remember the view. I'm glad Kimi was alright. That's what most important than any points.

Again, Kimi has make me amazed and proud. I'm so proud of him! I should have follow his dignity and hard work. He never surrenders what ever happen. No matter he's in pain, he keep moving forward. What a strong man, what a great man, the greatest one! I will follow you forever!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Happy Birthday dearest one!

On Saturday, October 17th, 2009 was my happy day. It's my dearest Kimi's birthday!! He's 30 years old now, so old! XP I was so happy so I pledge that I will always smile for the whole day. No matter what happen I won't mourning! I don't want to mourn on my dearest one special day. I want to always smiling and I did! Yatta!!

I've begun the morning by greet his poster on my wall. "Happy birthday, dear kimi,". I smile. Then I wrote a birthday congratulation on book of the season. I came down stair and greet everyone, "happy birthday!". At noon, my brother and I went to bought the birthday cake. I also look for the candles. After we finally reach home, I quickly prepare the cake and take pictures to be post here and some social account I have. I never been so happy like I was that day. I was so motivated and excited! I even sleep with still having the smile on my face XD

The day was the most happiest Kimi's birthday I've ever had! Don't know why, maybe it's because he's 30 years old now? He has grown up! I don't realize it XD If I look back at his old pictures, I could see the changing. Kimi has really change from a young talented boy to a mature and great man! I really didn't realize how he has change. It felt so natural for me :) I'm glad I can celebrate Kimi's birthday this year. It's his biggest birthday! The big 30, they said :)

For his birthday..I pray that he would always be bless by the Mighty One. I pray he will have all the success, joy, love, and happiness. Always be healthy and wealthy in many ways. I pray he will always have the smile on his face. I'm wishing him the very best more than ever now. He deserves it!

Happy birthday Kimi! May you live a long and happy life with people that you care and love. I can't give you anything on your special day, but just a simple prayer and hope, also love that will always forever be yours :) Happy birthday dearest Kimi. I'm so grateful you are here in this world. I'm so grateful to have you in my world. Thank you so much! Love you forever and ever!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Eigo ga doushite?

Some friends ask me the reason why I wrote my post in English. Actually there’s no special reason. I’m not intent writing in English so foreigner could read it. I wrote in English because I want to keep practice it. If I don’t practice it frequently, soon it would meet the same fate with my Japanese, stagnant XD I would love to write in Japanese but I still haven’t master it, even now I’m slowly forgetting what I’ve learn…sigh…

For the truth, I love writing in English. My main reason is because non-speaking English around me would be lazy to read it XD and beside of keep practicing it, I quite agree with what Hyde has said. I remember his words when people asked him why he wrote songs in English. That time he said because English has many words to express feeling than in Japanese. I feel the same too. I like English because some words don’t feel cheesy or tawdry to say. That’s why almost all of my writings are in English, don’t care people could understand it or not. Well, I always try to write in the right pattern. So until now, I’m still writing and keep learning.

I think I will keep writing in English for some moment. I would write in Indonesian if I found it difficult to explain what I'm trying to say XD It doesn’t have anything to do with patriotism. I just want to write what I like in any language that I like XD That’s all...It’s just that plain and simple :)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

In Memoriam of Stephen Gately

I was quite surprised to read the news about the death of Stephen Gately, one of the members from BOYZONE. I must admit that I was one of their fans during my Junior High period (XD) and Stephen was my favorite member. What can I say? He’s cute and have a unique voice (I’ve realize now that I always like someone with strange and unique voice). Stephen passed away for still unknown reason at his house in Spain. He was 33 years old, my prayers and deep condolences for him.

My sister also rings me about Stephen death.
She wrote, “Hey, your ex favorite guy has passed away, Stephen Gately,”
I replied, “I know, lost after lost,”
(I write that for another lost that I might have soon *sigh*)

Then she starts talking about Stephen’s sexual interest, about his likeness for man. That Stephen is a gay.

I stare at her and said, “So?”
“I don’t care if he’s a gay. It’s his choice,”

I can see that my sister quite surprised with my words.
Then I quickly realize something.

“It’s not because of he’s gay that I’m not his fans anymore.
It’s because I was done with the Junior High euphoria,”
“And also because now I have Kimi :),”

My sister really surprised with my words. She only said, “Oh my…,”

Well, that’s the truth. I’m not Stephen’s fans no longer isn’t because for the reason that he’s a gay. But, because I’ve found other interest and that is in Japanese music. I don’t mind at all with the fact that Stephen likes man. I know religion prohibited it; even so it’s each person choice and responsibility. I can’t judge him as a bad person or stray one. I can’t say that because I’m also stray in some area XD

Then I also could understand Stephen feeling…since for me, the feeling of love and like doesn’t have to be for opposite gender. Man can like man and so does with the girls. But, personally I choose to be straight :) I don’t mind at all with those who have the feeling for the same gender, again it’s each person choice.

Sate, sayounara Stephen. You will be missed. Thank you for your works when you’re alive. You will always be cherishing. Thank you and goodbye. May God blessing be with you :)

p.s. Face it sis, this is your little sister real identity XD

Monday, October 12, 2009

Wherever You Will Go ~KiRai's lyric~

So lately, I've been wondering
Who will be there to take your place
When you’re gone, I'll need love
To light the shadows on my face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could I make it on my own

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring you back to me

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In my heart and my mind
You’ll stay with me for all of time

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

KiRai's Note:
The original lyric is from "Wherever You Will Go" by "The Calling" band. I've forget how much I love this song. The first song I've dedicated for Kimi. The words that represented my feeling for him. Kimi, if I could then I would, I'll go wherever you will go. But, no...I will always go wherever you'll go :)

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Proud 4th place ~after Suzuka GP~

Feuh..finally I have the time to post my review about Kimi's result at Suzuka GP. I know it's out of date but I want to write it anyway XD

Kimi started the race from P5. Actually, he would start from P8, but several drivers got a yellow flag penalty so Kimi's starting grid has move up. Lucky! ^_^
When the race started, Kimi quickly move to the side of the start line, but the front drivers gathered in one place and block his way to get through. After turn 1, Kimi stayed in 5th place.

The race mostly become round and round again. Even so, Kimi could hold back Barichello, despite his car doesn't have any new development. Kimi has perform quite well during the race and he even make one of the fastest lap of the day! Remember, his car isn't as fast as the others...And also with that kind of speed, Kimi could jumped out Heidfeld at 2nd pit stop. He did! Kimi took 2nd pit stop before Heidfeld and succeed stay in front of Heidfeld after he took his 2nd pit. Awesome strategy! Kimi is in 4th now.

A quite mess accident happen that make Safety Car to come out. Kimi got a chance to overtake Hamilton when the race started again. They were close but not close enough. Only few laps left and I prefer to see Kimi finish in 4th than at the wall. A good choice from Kimi :)

Kimi finished in 4th and I'm so happy with this result. It's better than in Singapore. The weather also nice, even though it's raining during free practice. I'm so happy every thing goes smoothly for Kimi after hard times recently. With all the annoying things around him, he still determinate to give his best for the team. He still drive his best for the team, although he won't be there next year. The news doesn't bother him and surely doesn't make him less motivated. What a man! :) That's why I'm so proud of him. Even though no one won't notice his hard work, but I do. I know Kimi always work hard and always give his best, because he is simply the best. And what ever the decision may come..I will still be the same for him. I've pledge along time ago that, "for better or worse, I'm with you, Kimi," :) This is the pledge for a lifetime :)

Thank you for your hard work Kimi. Love you always.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Sins and The Story - ABC Album List

Acid Black Cherry – BLACK LIST

BLACK LIST (20.02.2008)
2.少女の祈り (Shojo no Inori, A Girl's Prayer)
5.愛してない (Aishitenai, I Don't Love You)
6.Bit Stupid
7.楽園 (Rakuen, Paradise)
8.Black Cherry
9.Murder Licence
10.冬の幻 (Fuyu no Maboroshi, Winter's Illusion)
12.Prologue End

It’s Acid Black Cherry first album. At first try, I wasn’t get into it. I don’t know why. But, that time I just think it’s a good music. Then, long after it, I’ve become totally into this album! I don’t know what make me crazy for A.B.C. The music mixed my feelings and flew away my mind. I just love it and never get bored play it from time to time. Yasu’s voice is amazing and the music make me laugh but also head banging.

My Recommended songs:
1.Sins.The first time I listen this song, I think it’s a cool song. I like it but don’t put anymore attention again. But then, it becomes my favorite song in this album. I’m amazed with the music, the words, and with Yasu’s voice. I absolutely love it!! >_<
2.Spell Magic. It’s a great song with a really funny video. The words “don’t judge a book from its cover,” really suited this video. Yasu is so cool (and naughty)!! I don’t fond with naughty man but I’ll only accept Yasu XD He’s fit to be naughty!! XDD Really an awesome video and Yasu! XDD
3.Bit Stupid. What and unique song. The song tells about a man (Yasu of course XD) who was cheating his girl and tries to hide it by making excuses. And the excuses are so funny. The song describe Yasu’s effort to confidence his girl and get away with his little crime. I don’t like man who cheated on his girl, but Yasu make me laugh through this song. Once again, I only accept if the man is Yasu XDD
4.Black Cherry. I was quite surprised when I watched the video. Yasu dress up like a girl! I’m sorry Yasu, but you look weird XD (HYDE fits better XD). But, after he throw his wig and become him self…I was amazed and went, “WHOA!!!” I’ve become more surprised! I enjoyed the music that makes me shake. It’s a fun and exciting video!
It’s a great and awesome work from Yasu! It’s worth to have and listen over and over!

Acid Black Cherry – Q.E.D

Q.E.D. (26.08.2009)
2.cord name【JUSTICE】
3.Jigsaw ~ジグソー Q.E.D. version~
4.罪と罰~神様のアリバイ~ (Tsumi to Batsu ~Kami-sama no Ribai~, Crime and Punishment ~God's Alibi~)
5.眠り姫 (Nemuri Hime, Sleeping Beauty)
6.チェリーチェリー (chieri- chieri-, Cherry Cherry)
7.1954 LOVE/HATE
8.I’m not a ghost
9.優しい嘘 (Yasashii Uso, Tender Lies)
10.黒い太陽 (Kuroi Taiyou, Black Sun)
12.20+∞ Century Boys

It’s the second and newest Acid Black Cherry album. It’s the album that makes me fall in to A.B.C. At first heard, I just love it! I instantly love it! This album make me crazy about A.B.C. and make me cheating on L’Arc~en~Ciel and HYDE ^_^ the music on this album are just awesome, also Yasu’s voice is so amazing. I love his voice! This is one amazing album! I like to hear it over and over.

My recommended songs:
1.Jigsaw ~ジグソー Q.E.D. version~. It’s the English Version from Jigsaw single. It’s a great song, even though I only understand a little of Yasu’s words ^_^ Try to listen it, it make me head shake XD
2.罪と罰~神様のアリバイ~ (Tsumi to Batsu ~Kami-sama no Ribai~, Crime and Punishment ~God's Alibi~). I love the music, also it make me shake right and left XDD
3.眠り姫 (Nemuri Hime, Sleeping Beauty). A sweet and slow song with a very nice video. Each time I heard it I feel so calm as if it flew my mind to the sky.
4.チェリーチェリー (chieri- chieri-, Cherry Cherry). At first, I thought it’s a song for children, with the cute title and a cute voice of a woman. But, I must remember it’s Yasu’s work so…XD Just read the lyric, it’s quite the same with Black Cherry with similar cheerful music with Bit Stupid (both from BLACK LIST album).
5.優しい嘘 (Yasashii Uso, Tender Lies). One of my favorite songs! I love the song and after I watch the video, I also love it! The video is so great and Yasu also look so awesome! The music is great too! Everything is just too great to let passed! The video make me fall even deeper for A.B.C. and I don’t get bored watch the video or play the song over and over. I’m in tears for this song and for many reasons too. I juts love it!!
6.20+∞ Century Boys. My most favorite song! It’s a cheerful and energetic song! The video is also hilarious! I laugh watching “girl” Yasu. But, I don’t blink when A.B.C. show up and play. It’s too awesome! Yasu is so awesome! His move, his voice, his appearance, he’s so damn awesome! This is the best song!! I keep repeating it and always make my head up and down also body shaking for the music. I’m in tears again T _ T

Great and awesome work from Yasu! I never get bored with the songs! I like it all!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

2nd rendezvous

On Saturday, September 26th, 2009, I had my second rendezvous with my college friends. It's quite fun, hectic, but also tiring since we walked around the campus to get to a mall ^_^ And what we do at the mall? We just eat XD Fit chan had a look for shoes discount, Myu and Nisa also looking at some shoes, while I just sit down watching them. I guess I really know the feeling of a man when company their couple on girls shopping XD

Actually, we have another plan before the taking the long walk. We were supposed to attend "History Camp", an event our juniors have prepared. At the event, we will be introduce to our new juniors. But, we don't know the time of the event. Patty told us it would be held in the evening at 3 pm. What? And we already there from 10 am XD. So, from the mall, we walked back to attended the event. It's quite tiring for me, since I wore boots...

Sorry to say but the event went just like usual history event...not soo fun..but, the most exciting part was when we, from History class 2001 gathered around and jokes! Many laughter! I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I really like that happy and joyful moment when we gathered. I need this happy moment just to forget my uneasy feeling....

And after I arrive home..I feel that I miss them...I want to be with them more longer...but my uneasy feeling still there, even add. Now, I'm thinking about someone I shouldn't have think..someone that I feel become close to me although just for a moment..someone that I know won't ever have the same feeling with me...oh well. I guess this feeling come because of the happy moments I have that time and I believe it'll be gone soon, as fast as it come :)

But, I really like this 2nd rendezvous. It's tiring but also exciting! Hope to have many other rendezvous :)

Round and Round ~ Singapore GP

It's been a round and round race for Kimi at Singapore GP. I've should know that. It's not because of Kimi had to started the race from P13th, but rather because it's a street circuit that overtaking maneuver is hardly to be done, especially when you're at the back of the grid....

Even so, Kimi has started the race with remarkably move, he tried to take some places up front but sadly didn't manage quite well..(I don't like this circuit! >_<). Kimi then managed to overtake Buemi (if I'm not mistaken) and move up one place. Thankfully everything still goes well for Kimi. No trouble with the pit stops also the car, just lack of speed and down force(?). Kimi has predict it will be though at Singapore, especially they no longer develop the car. They are focusing on next year car, which I hope it will be a success (especially if Kimi is still a part of the team!).

In the end, Kimi finished at 10th place. It's quite disappointing result after podiums before this, but I'm quite happy Kimi can finish this series. He doesn't finish last year, so I think this is an improvement ^_^

Next stop is Suzuka...only few days ahead..I hope Kimi will get a lot better result there. Just 3 more races to go and I hope to see Kimi at the podiums as many as I can :) I pray Kimi will have great result on each races left :)

Thank you for your never ending hard work, Kimi. I really cherish it. Always wishing the best for you :) FIGHT!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Acid Black Cherry aka Yasu desu

Acid Black Cherry aka Yasu is the music I’ve been lately listening. A.B.C. has move up so fast that he has move down HYDE and now is threatening L’Arc~en~Ciel position on my play list ^_^ I think it has been almost 2 weeks I’ve not listen to L’Arc~en~Ciel and HYDE. Gomen ne, Minna! It’s not I’ve forgotten you nor abandon you but I admit I have cheating on you XDD

Then, who is Acid Black Cherry that I’ve bean cheating with? Acid Black Cherry (A.B.C.) is the solo project of Yasu (Yasunori Hayashi, 27/1/75), the vocalist of Japanese rock band, Janne Da Arc. The band is in hiatus from 2007 and from that year also, Yasu has started his solo project. With the advisor help from HYDE (Yasu admires him!), Yasu then named his project as “Acid Black Cherry” rather than using his own name. A.B.C. is only Yasu on vocal while the other members are the supporting members that can change from time to time. One of the supporting members is, Sugizo (Luna Sea, X-Japan) who helped out in one of the song in A.B.C first album, BLACK LIST. Further information about A.B.C. can be read on Wikipedia or other resources. I don’t want to take someone else job in describing the band (read: I’m just too lazy to write the full information XD)

So far, A.B.C has released two albums, BLACK LIST and Q.E.D. (I’ll make the album review sometime around XD). A.B.C. has also released a re-creation album which Yasu covers some oldies Japanese songs, the album title is RECREATION.
And why I could like A.B.C. so much? I don’t know either XD Well, the music is really good, the words are surprising! But, most of all the voice (also the person) is so unique!! I don’t get bored repeating the songs! There are different types of music in one album, dark, rock, hard, fun, slow, naughty, joyful, etc. It gives me mixed feeling but I still like it! And the voice, Yasu’s voice in one hell unique voice that I instantly put beside HYDE! Although of course both have very different kind of voice. I love Yasu’s voice!! It’s the best thing I like from A.B.C.

What about the person? Actually I’ve quite heard about A.B.C. I have even listen to BLACK LIST but that time it doesn’t stuck on me like now. My first impression for Yasu was, “what a scary looking guy!” I thought he must be a serious, harsh, and rude person. But, when I’ve watched some of the videos and interviews...Hey...He’s a funny and cheerful guy!! I become to like Yasu’s voice when he’s talking or laughing. I think Yasu is a fun guy to hang out with. I bet it’ll be fun to hanging out with him! I guess it’s true after all, “don’t judge a book from its cover”…then “don’t judge a band from its look,” ;)

One reason why I like to listen to A.B.C. over and over is because it make me forget what I don’t want to remember; it make me feel what I want to feel; it make me listen what I want to listen; it make me think what I want to think, see, hear, and care. By listening to A.B.C., I feel I’m in a world with no one else beside me, the music, and the voice. I’m in my own world (with Yasu beside me XD)